The World She Saw | Attack on Titan x Reader Fanfiction |

Ruins of a Town: The Survey Corps (9)

~Your PoV~

You had to pause a few times before you could continue reading. Your head felt heavy. Even now, you couldn't process the things you had read. You do not understand yourself. Of course, it was a tragic and unbelievable story, but you felt like it was bothering you more than it should.

You put a hand to your forehead and rest your head on it. At the same time, you prevent strands of hair from falling into your face.

You close your eyes as your head begins to pound furiously again. You could see Ilse's path of suffering right in front of you, as if you had witnessed it yourself. The fear and pain she felt, you felt too. You were also overcome by an incredible sadness that you couldn't place when you remembered the ruins of the city.

Everything seemed so familiar to you and yet so foreign. As if the answer kept coming up, but then disappeared again before you could say it.

"Ymir's... Subjects...?" you murmur as you screw up your closed eyes. Inexplicably to you, this term did not seem new to you. As if you had heard it before... No, the feeling was different; It felt more like this term was once a permanent part of your vocabulary.

A bit stronger than you expected, you close the notebook, causing a bang to break the silence of the room.

You couldn't and didn't want to think about it any longer, or you were afraid you would lose your mind.

You feel tears wanting to well up inside you. But you did not want to cry here. You believe it was inappropriate since you are going to meet Ilse's parents downstairs. Besides, you were so blindsided by your feelings that it was hard for you to even describe how you felt. However, you knew one thing; you didn't want to stay here any longer than necessary.

When you had the feeling that you had calmed down to some extent, you stood up. This causes your gaze to fall out the window.

"What-!?" you say a little louder than usual, as you lean your upper body forward to get a better look out the window. You were quite surprised at yourself. Normally, you never react to your surroundings like that.

You could have sworn that the hooded figure from the alley was just standing down there watching you.

You quickly took a few steps back from the window, so that no one could see you from below.

Paired with the storm of emotion inside you, chills ran down your spine.

You tell yourself that you must have been wrong, but you weren't very self-convincing.

You just wanted to escape this situation as quickly as possible.

Suddenly the door opened, making you flinch. Your head snaps to the door at the same moment.

In comes Ilse's mother.

"Is everything alright?" she asks in a soft breathy voice upon seeing your current condition.

Your face was pale and your lips have lost their usual shade of red.

Your eyes were wide open. Your posture was hunched and fearful.

Your legs were shaking a little.

You looked like you had seen a ghost.

You swallow loudly before answering. "...Yes... I'm fine..."

Given your appearance, everyone could tell you were lying. "Scary, isn't it?"

"Huh?" You look at her questioningly.

She points her head at the notebook. "Ilse's notebook, I mean."

Now, your gaze turns to the notebook as well. "Yes, you're right..."