The World She Saw | Attack on Titan x Reader Fanfiction |

The Consequence: The 57th Expedition Beyond the Walls (6)

You watch as Eren is taken away by Moblit and Hanji for a closer examination of his health.

"(Y/n)..." a timid voice suddenly says your name next to you. You turn around. Felix was standing in front of you. His eyes were fixed on the ground. "Are you all right?" he asks.

"Yes. And you?"

"Me too. I managed to get through this expedition somehow," he says.

Looking at Felix now, you realize that you haven't met him once since he and the others joined the survey corps. He had simply ignored you.

An awkward silence fell between the two of you. Felix shifted back and forth slightly, contemplating what to say next. When his eyes looked up from the ground and met yours, you flinched. Your head hurts. An image flashed through your mind. It was a girl with dark hair, standing in front of you with her back turned to you. Your heart was hammering inside your chest. When she looked back over her shoulder, you couldn't make out her face.

You shake your head in confusion. What was that just now?

Felix looked at you with a puzzled expression. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"No. Everything's fine."

Silence fell between you again. Felix took a deep breath before he began to speak. "(Y/n), I... I shouldn't have treated you like I did. And I'm sorry for that."

You look at Felix without saying a word. After months, he apologized to you. "What exactly are you apologizing for?"

"For being so mean to you and for not having the courage to admit my mistakes right away."

You had an unreadable expression on your face. You didn't know how to feel about this. You thought you were friends, but somehow you didn't miss him when he wasn't there. Not once did you wonder how he was doing or if he would survive the expedition. It wasn't that you didn't care. It was more like he didn't even exist in your world.

You sigh before jumping down from the wagon. Something slipped out of the inside pocket of your jacket.

"You've dropped something," Felix comments.

You kneel down to pick up whatever it was that you had dropped. Your hand grasped it. Your eyes fall on the field ration you had taken earlier. It fell out of your pocket. When you saw the field ration, Eren came to mind. Somehow he had given you much more than your supposed friend Felix had ever tried to.

No, Felix tried to order you to join the survey corps because he himself was too weak. You didn't like the fact that he wanted to impose his will on you. You were your own person and could decide for yourself. And even now that he's apologizing, he's not even apologizing for that. And anyone who needs months for that kind of response may not be worth it.

You put the cracker back in your jacket pocket and get up from your crouch. "No, you don't need to apologize."

When you said that, Felix looked at you hopefully. "Does that mean-"

You interrupted him. "You don't need to apologize because I don't want to hear it. It's been over a month since we last spoke. You've done nothing but push your own shortcomings onto me. I'm not here to save the world in your name or something. You're weak, but I'm not your telescopic sight. You practically ordered me to join the survey corps without a moment's thought of what I might want to do. I'm here because this was my choice. I wanted it this way. It's not because of you."

"(Y/n), I-" You interrupt Felix again. 

"No, you'll hear what I have to say. I should have said this a long time ago and no apology or explanation can make up for the damage. It took you over a month to do this. And even now you don't understand the real problem. I have nothing more to say to you. You're welcome to leave again."

Felix took a shaky breath. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but in the end, he said nothing and left.

When you walked away, you felt nothing. To be honest, you didn't even know why you were friends with him. Because you knew each other in the past? And why did you have to think about that unknown girl again...?

You take a few steps when someone stops you. "Hey, (Y/n). So you survived that expedition too, I see."

You turn around, coming face to face with Ymir. "Ymir. You came back safely too," you say as you notice that she was alone, "Where is Christa? Is she all right?"

"Yes, she's fine. She's helping the wounded."

"As always, huh?" you reply. Christa was always quick to help others.

Ymir nods. "Tch, why she goes to so much trouble, I don't know. Some of these old geezers aren't worth her time."

"Some might be. But most of them are probably grateful for her help. And it's not like our regiment is made up of only idiots and wimps."

"Oh, really? I can think of enough exceptions to that rule to prove you wrong." Ymir grins, a little sarcastically. "Speaking of which, where's Eren anyway?"

"Hanji took him away shortly after we arrived. She wants to see how serious his condition is," you reply. Somehow you had an idea of what Ymir was going to say again.

"Oh, so you and Eren get along pretty well, huh?" Ymir says teasingly.

You sigh. "It's literally my job to stay close to him. The Special Operations Squad has to keep an eye on him, after all."

"Yeah, but there's keeping an eye on him, and then there's letting him follow you all the time. He's practically like a lost puppy around you."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? I can hardly tell him to get lost or something."

Ymir chuckled. "You could try, you know? I doubt he'll listen to you though, he seems completely smitten with you." She looked at you. "You have to admit, though, it's pretty hilarious to watch."

"What do you mean?" you asked, not understanding what she was getting at.

Ymir rolled her eyes. "Come on, you can't be serious. He's always following you around, listening to you, and looking at you like you're the only person in the room. Honestly, it's quite pathetic."

"You're being ridiculous, Ymir," you say, crossing your arms.

"Am I now?" Ymir can't help but laugh at your cluelessness. "Just tell me when the wedding is."

You roll your eyes. "In four years," you reply sarcastically.

Ymir grinned. "Four years, huh? Are you sure that's quick enough for your impatient little admirer?"

"Just shut up."

July 31, 2024