"They say we are asleep until we fall in love
We are children of dust and ashes
But when we fall in love we wake up
And we are a god and angels weep
But if I die here tonight
I die in my sleep"
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Benicia was currently under the church. She could tell that sometimes people had to stay here since there was a small bed. She set her duffel bag down on it and released a long tired sigh. She had been in this area before. After everything happened, she would come down here on her own and read. As soon as she turned eighteen, Benicia started to go to college and work at the same time. She was given a lot of money after the annulment petition went through, probably so she wouldn't talk about her adoption.
She opened her duffel and yawned. The fatigue was finally getting to her and she was fully prepared to curl up in the small cot. Benicia turned her head as she felt this warm feeling behind her. She gave a tired smile to Father Latum as he approached her with a tray of food, "Hey..."
"You doing okay down here?"
"I'm doing my best." Benicia chuckled softly as she wiped under her nose before taking the tray of food, "Thanks." She set it down on one of the small tables, "Will it offend if I say I'll be glad to be gone."
Father Latum just smiled over at her, "It's understandable... after what you've been through here. Sister Maggie called. She said she'd have some options for you by the end of the day. You'll be safe soon."
Benicia snorted at this and solemnly nodded her head, "If you say so."
"Well, I'm getting ready to say Mass." Father Latum cleared his throat, "Um, you could come up if you'd like. I understand that you're not religious, Benny. Most of the people who come here are not really Catholic, just the company might be comforting. A little ritual, a little ancient wisdom. It's not the worst medicine for a troubled soul."
"Great." Benicia rubbed at the bottom of her nose again before she sat down on the cot, "Am I as transparent as I was in high school?"
Father Latum just smiled softly down at her, "Someone once said that everyone is fighting a battle of their own... that you can't see. But sometimes... sometimes-" He took the seat beside her, "-you can see."
"Yeah..." Benicia mumbled and rubbed the fabric of her skirt, "Uh... Father Latum, what-what do you-what do you do when you realize that you've lost? It's just-I haven't felt this way in so long that-that I don't know what to do."
Father Latum sighed at her question, "A man I helped raise as a boy came to see me recently." He watched as she turned her head away from him with a huff since she was able to easily guess who he was talking about.
"Right." Benicia threaded her fingers through her hair and out of her face, "Matt."
"I had... I had a choice of evils. He blames me for the ones I chose, for the way his life turned out. I can't argue with him. I just have to find a way to live with it."
"Yeah, but how do you live with that?" Benicia glanced down at her hands, her body slightly shaking, "Knowing that you... that you hurt someone like that?"
