A C T O R S || OS

66. Sebastian Stan | Already Home

By : dlwritings | Tumblr

pairing - Sebastian x reader
word count - 2,436
warnings -
summary - Being away from Sebastian was getting harder and harder, and with him getting more and more famous everyday, you weren't sure the pain would ever end. Was your love strong enough to survive the most painful fight you ever had?

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You were wrapped up in a blanket, cradling a box of tissues in your lap. This had been your position for weeks now. Long-distance relationships were hard, but long-term long-distance relationships were even harder. There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

You met Sebastian when he was on Gossip Girl. You were actually from California but were in New York for college at the time. When the two of you met accidentally at a coffee shop, he instantly fell in love. You, on the other hand, took convincing. Sebastian was persistent and, after a few dates, you agreed to be his girlfriend. And what a journey that had been.

Since he was an actor, Sebastian's job meant he was always traveling. Since you were a college student, your education meant you were always studying. Somehow, you made it work. He visited you whenever he could and you flew out to see him whenever you could afford it. It was hard, but you both were determined to stick it out.

Ten years later and you were both still sticking it out. Sebastian was in no position to settle down, which you were okay with it. At least that was what you always told yourself.

Yet there you were, alone in your apartment in California, sitting on your couch watching Sebastian's movies in an attempt to feel like you were with him. You missed him so much it made you feel physically sick. Almost every time he came on screen, tears fell from your eyes. You couldn't call him. You didn't want to interrupt his busy schedule. He was either filming or doing press junkets right now, you weren't sure. You couldn't keep up with him.

It was around 8:00 in the evening when your phone rang. You paused the movie and looked at your phone screen, seeing that you were getting a FaceTime request from Sebastian. "Fuck," you muttered to yourself. You grabbed a tissue and dabbed underneath your eyes, sniffing and putting on a brave smile. "Hey, babe!" you said cheerily. He looked tired and all you wanted to do was be next to him and cuddle. He was wearing a sweatshirt you had once gotten him for Christmas and had the hood up, clearly leaning against the headboard of his hotel bed. The smile that he had been sporting immediately dropped.

"You been crying?" he asked. You winced a little, hating that he could see right through you. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," you lied quickly, trying to make your smile more convincing. "I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me," he said, sitting up a little straighter. "What's wrong?" You tried to let out a laugh but it just came out pitiful.

"Just been missing you," you mumbled.

Sebastian sighed, "I miss you too." You ran your fingers through your hair and closed your eyes, trying not to cry.

"No I mean, I really, really miss you, Seb," you said. "This is getting so hard. So much harder than I ever expected it to get. When was the last time I saw you? A month? That's not, it's not fair."

"You knew this was going to happen," he countered. "It's been happening for ten years."

"And you've just accepted it," you said. Your voice came out a little sharper than you planned, so you took a breath. "I just feel like at some point, you accepted that this was our life and stopped putting in any effort to make it better." You felt tears on your cheeks so you brushed them away and sniffed. "It's just hard. It's so hard." Sebastian was quiet for a minute before he sighed and pushed his hood off so he could ruffle his hair.