encounter [b.e]

Chapter thirty s*ven

Billie

I clear my throat in thought as I watch Kaiya lay on her back, "what would make you leave me?" I ask watching her make a face.

"that's a good question" she mumbles in thought, "but uhm I haven't really thought about it mostly because I don't think you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize this relationship" I nod listening carefully.

"but if I had to say one thing it would be if I felt like I was holding you back from your success and shit then I would have to" she says, I pout at her words.

"what's one experience you hope we'll share in the future?" she asks getting up to sit against the head post, I look at her straight in the eyes as I think.

"I wanna do anything with you, it's hard" I start, "and it feels like there's no enough time for a lot of thing but I do want to leave out of the city for a bit, just us leaving in a non-city setting" I say.

"and I don't know, having kids is always tough. I think that's my main driving force because I think you would be an amazing parent" I add tearing up a bit at the thought.

she smiles at me, getting emotional herself but she pulls it together and holds my hand, I take a couple of breaths before asking a question.

"if your ex was here, what would they warn me about being in a relationship with you?"

"ouu uhm probably that I am a nonchalant person, I personally don't think I am but she thought I was and it was an ongoing fight about it the whole relationship" she says.

"you're not a nonchalant person" I say with a little laugh, she smiles and nods.

"when did you ever consider ending this relationship and why did you decide not to?" the question makes me scrunch up my face a bit as I think of how to word it.

"in the very beginning, like before we were even official" I start, "I wasn't necessarily considering it but I did find myself trying to finding reasons why it wouldn't work, and that was just my own fears" I explain, she nods understandingly.

"how do you think we approached sex differently in our relationship?" I ask.

"that's easy. at first we were going at it like everyday, just because of the physical attraction and after I took some time to actually know you, I didn't feel the need to go at it everyday just to keep you around" she says making me smile a bit.

"what would it be like for you to have a son or daughter that will be viewed as black?" she asks.

"I hate to say it but dangerous. very dangerous. it's one of the many reasons I try to support as many causes as I can because I see what's going on, I see how black people are being treated. I want them to have the same access and rights or privilege as I do, I get that I am a white girl and I have a lot going for me in society. if we have a trans kid, I would want them to do everything I'm able to do. so it's dangerous but either way our kids will be viewed as black and all we can really do is pray they will be safe" I say.

"I get it" she says with a nod.

"what is one experience you wish I never had?" I ask.

"oh probably your last relationship, it gave you a lot of trust issues and shit. like in the beginning of the relationship I would just to reassure you on things and try show you that I'm all about you but I knew you weren't convinced, you never believed me and I don't blame you. I just wish you never experienced your last relationship, you also felt more secure when you basically ran all my socials but at least now you know that I got you. I would never do some fucked shit like that" she says, I bite my cheek and wipe away my tears.

"I appreciate you" I tell her.

"if you could relive one month in our relationship, what would it be and why?"

"geez there's so many" I say thinking back, "I think it would have to be the day I told you I loved you, I have never seen you that happy or jumpy ever before and you cried so.." I say with a shrug, she sucks her teeth and laughs.

"it was a great day"

"if this were to be our last conversation, what is something you never want me to forget?" I ask.

"ouu good question" she says biting her lip, "that's actually something I have thought about. I never want you to forget that you are my one great love, no matter happens in the future and if I hate you for some reason, no matter the hurtful things I might say or do. never ever go hungry or homeless while I am still alive, if you need me. I will drop anything for you because you're everything baby" she says, I roll my eyes in annoyance when my tears don't stop flowing.

"I want you to know that it was always worth it, always and forever will be my one great love" she adds, I sniff and look up to stop my tears.

"god I hate you for making me cry" I say making her laugh, she gives me time to collect myself before asking a question.

"why do you think I was single when you met me?" she asks, I chuckle.

"I think it was by choice" I say confidently.

"I think the reason why I was single is because I am not really put in situations to meet people as much, I mean I went to class and immediately went back to my room and I don't party" she says, I nod.

"when do you feel the most in love with me?" I ask and watch as a smile breaks on her face.

"uhm pretty much everyday, I think every time I look at you I just think I couldn't possibly be more in love with you but I do, although yesterday I was watching you cook with my mom and dad and that's when I just thought like this is as far as one could possibly be in love with someone but then again I was proven wrong when I woke up besides you today, I don't really have a specific moment but every single day my love for you just get deeper and deeper" she explains, I sniffle and cover my face.

"I think that's enough for today, c'mere" she says pulling me into her arms, I wrap my arms around her neck as I lay on top of her, "I love you so much" I say sniffling.

"I love you way more baby" she says kissing the side of my head.

pls don't overthink anything from this chapter 💀 you guys like to overthink.