Feel Something (BounPrem FF)

Chapter 10: What's This Feeling?

*Notes: Pho=father, Mae=mother, Mong=Chans bio dad, Khem= Chan's stepdad*

Chan stared curiously at Sinn, who was wearing a black face mask all of a sudden. He wasn’t wearing it that morning, but something had happened between then and their class together.
   
“Are you okay?”
   
Sinn looked at his junior, then went back to his worksheet.
   
“Do you feel sick?” Chan reached out to check Sinn's temperature from his forehead, but his senior grabbed his wrist and brought it down to the desk.
   
“Stop.”
   
The boy looked down at Sinn’s hand, having a hard grip on his own. “Okay…” Chan backed off, letting Sinn have his own space for once. He didn’t bother his senior again the rest of the day.
 

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At football practice Sinn watched from the sidelines again. He watched the boy once more, without realizing what he was doing. Chan was competitive and athletic. The boy was in game mode majority of the time, but would joke and smile with his teammates, too.
   
Chan's eyes smiled along with his mouth, and his laugh was infectious to the people around him. A small flame in Sinn grew bigger the more he watched the boy. He looked up and down Chan's body, noticing every curve and following every movement.
   
*Snap out of it!*
   
Sinn shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts that crept up on him.
   
“P'Sinn!” The boy was already on his way before Sinn could reset his mind. “If you’re not feeling well we can skip the project today and get together tomorrow?”
   
Sinn only nodded, watching the sweat drip down Chan's face and down his chest, disappearing into his shirt. His junior's damp skin made Chan glow in the sunlight. Sinn wondered what Chan's skin felt like if he were to run his fingers along an arm, or his neck…
   
“P'Sinn?” Chan bent over a little to look Sinn in the eyes.
   
Sinn blinked many times, coming back to reality. “Hmm?” His eyes were level with the boy's, and he almost lost focus again.
   
“I said that we can get together tomorrow instead of today if you don’t feel good?”
   
“Mmmm.” Sinn nodded, giving his junior the answer he waited for.
   
“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
   
Chan began walking to the locker room, fanning himself with his shirt. It was partially from the heat, but also because his interaction with his senior made him even more hot.
   
What was the strange feeling he had? It was new and almost scared him half to death. He looked back at Sinn, who was still sitting. How could such a man have such an effect on him? He didn’t feel like that with a crush before.
   
Chan patted his chest. “Stay calm.”
 

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“Pho, when did you fall in love with Mae?” Chan asked as he ate his pad Thai.
   
Khem smiled and nodded, amused at the sudden question. “Hmmm. You like someone?”
   
“I don’t know if I’d call it that. But tell me, when did you know you liked Mae?”
   
“When I knew? I was late to know my own heart, actually.”
   
“How could you be late to yourself?”
    
“Didn't you know? Your mind and heart are not always aligned?” Khem chuckled.
   
“When did they align for you?”
   
“Mmmm. When I knew she would always be by my side.” Khem smiled at the thought of Chan's mother. It had been years since her passing, and Chan didn’t normally bring her up. Khem liked sharing the stories he kept, though.
   
“No one else would do that for you?” Chan questioned his father's reasoning.
   
“No. Not like she could. She made me feel like I couldn’t live without her. If that had to be as friends then I was even fine with that.”
   
“Wouldn't you be heartbroken?”
   
“Seeing her happy was all I needed. If you truly love someone, that’s the minimum.” The man took a sip of water before continuing. “She said she would always be by my side, if I allowed her to be.”
   
“Oooohoo! What smooth words, Mae.” Chan laughed, admiring his mother.
   
“My heart had wanted to be with her, but it was then that my mind realized it.” Khem smiled gently as he thought back to that moment so long ago. “I gained a wife and son all at the same time. It was a blessing.”
   
Khem had met Chan's mother when Chan was a toddler, after Mong had left them. Khem is the only father Chan has ever known truly. The only one whom he felt connected to, and the one who raised him. Khem wasn’t able to have children, so he saw them as his blessing, and was able to raise the child as his own.
   
Chan had spoken to Mong a bit when he was young, because his mother wanted him to know where he came from. The selfish man had already given up on Chan long ago, though, and wasn’t willing to hold onto a relationship with his biological son. Since Chan was 11, Mong had stopped calling and trying to keep heir conversations going. Chan was hurt, but his parents comforted him.
   
“Oh, Pho…”
   
“Yes?”
   
“Did you tell him where I go to school?” The mood became quiet, and Chan pushed his remaining food around. Khem knew who Chan was talking about.
   
“Yes. He wanted to see you.”
   
Chan thought of how painful it was for his Pho to speak to Mong, the man who abandoned his precious wife and child. “You don’t have to talk to him. He means nothing to me. I’ll only speak to him if you need help.”
   
Khem and Chan were fine in Bangkok, but they had struggled back home for a while and Mong was not in contact with them. Chan was fine with taking money from Mong only if it was to help Khem.
   
“I'm fine. Just focus on school. That alone is enough for someone your age.”