Feel Something (BounPrem FF)

Chapter 21: I'm Sorry

That night, Dee stopped Sook in the hallway as they were headed back from dinner. “Sook!”
   
Sook stopped in his tracks, turning around to face Dee. Neither said a word for a few seconds.
   
“I'm sorry.” Sook was too familiar with those words. They were the ones he was sick of hearing.
   
“I know.”
   
“Can you forgive me?”
   
Of course he could. Sook could forgive everyone for breaking his heart. It was himself he couldn’t forgive for giving them a chance in the first place. “I forgive you.”
   
Before Sook could turn around and go to his room, Dee caught his hand. “I'm not done.”
   
Sook looked down at their hands, then back up at Dee. He didn’t want to hear any excuses. Especially from Dee, who had taken such good care of his heart the past months.
   
Dee pulled Sook in and wrapped his arms around the boy. “I’m sorry that I ran off. I was afraid.” Dee buried his face into Sook's neck, and waited for a response.
   
Sook had his arms by his side, not embracing Dee back. He wasn’t sure what to think, but he trusted Sinn's words from that afternoon. “What were you afraid of?”
 
Dee stood up straight, looking at the boy nervously. He had already decided to face his fears, though, so there was no backing down. “Afraid of my own feelings.”
   
That was enough for Sook. A simple explanation was all he wanted, but Dee exceeded his expectations. “Dee…”
   
Before he could say another word, Dee's hands came up to his face, holding it in his hands. “I like you.”
   
Sook was going to say it back, but Dee caught his lips before they could move. They were on cloud nine as they embraced each other. But Sook quickly snapped back into reality, pushing Dee away by his chest.
   
“Dee…what if someone sees us?” His eyes glanced back and forth.
   
“I mean, it’s a little weird, but they can watch.” Dee was going in for another kiss when they were interrupted.
   
“Dee!” Dee turned to the side to find Roon, who had just realized what he was seeing. “Sook…”
   
“Yea?” Dee didn’t care if Roon felt some way about him and Sook. Roon didn’t fit in the picture anymore, as a crush or a close friend. He held onto Sook, with an arm around his waist.
   
“Uh…It’s Chan…he got into a fight with Han again…”
 

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****TW: mild violence****
   

Chan wore his mother's necklace after their group activities that day. It was like he was showing his mother where he traveled. It was as if she got to see what he saw.
   
He stayed by Sook, and they ignored Dee and Sinn all the way through dinner. He couldn’t stop glancing at Sinn, and it made him lose his appetite. He was too upset to eat, so he just sipped on his water.
   
After dinner, he parted with Sook at the end of a the dining hall. “I'm gonna go call Pho, I’ll meet you at the room.”
   
Sook nodded, and Chan went off into a large garden in the middle of the resort.
   
Just as he was about to press the “call” button, someone bumped into him from behind. He bent down to catch his phone, but it fell too fast, and was stepped on immediately by someone with very hideous shoes.
   
Chan stood back up, knowing exactly what was going on. His eyes shot up to find Han. His senior not only stepped on the phone, but jumped on it, and smashed it in even more.
   
“Han!”
   
“Oi! I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” Han's smirk only made Chan angrier, but he knew to hold back, for his scholarship, and for his Pho.
   
“Just because you can change phones whenever you want, doesn’t mean everyone can. Do you know how hard I worked for that?” Chan had worked his summers and after school back in Chiang Mai to afford simple things. Even though his phone wasn’t the latest model, it was something new to him and he was grateful.
   
“I wouldn’t have bought such a cheap piece of shit in the first place.” Han was mocking him from their first fight, and it irked the boy. “Here.” Han brought out a leather wallet, and whipped out cash, tossing it at Chan. “You're lucky I have the money to replace it.”
   
That was the ultimate slap to the face for Chan. Han looked down at the cash on the ground, then back up at the boy, wanting him to grab it all.
   
“I don’t want your money.” Chan was too prideful to take it. He felt like he had something to prove. “Take your disgusting money, and shove it up your ass!” He grabbed his shattered phone instead, shoving it in his pocket and turned his back on Han.
   
“Oh no you don’t!” Han rushed to be in front of Chan, stopping him from walking forward. “You think you’re too good for my money? But you and your gold-digging family can go after Dee and Sinn?”
   
All of the rage in Chan was building up rapidly, and he was dying to deck Han in the face. He clenched his jaw instead, and rolled his hands into fists. “You're just mad that P'Sinn doesn’t like a bastard like you! You can have all the money in the world and it wouldn’t bring him to you.”
   
Han grabbed Chan's shirt with both hands, pulling it towards him. “You say I’m the bastard, but your father never even wanted you…”
   
Chan froze. How would Han even know that? Before he could even think straight, Han threw him to the ground. He didn’t realize that when his senior grabbed his shirt, he also grabbed the necklace. He was face down in the dirt, staring at it, broken on the ground. He never knew that the necklace was a locket, and it was broken open to show a picture of him and his Mae when he was a baby.
   
Han's foot appeared on the back of his head, but he didn’t notice. He was too busy focusing on the picture and how his mother’s necklace was broken.
   
“Piece of shit!” Han removed his foot and kicked Chan in the stomach. That’s when the boy finally moved.
   
Chan shrunk into the fetal position as Han continued, only stopping when he heard people coming. Han left quickly, then all Chan could hear some older people that he didn’t know. Then a familiar face showed up. Roon's.
   
“Are you okay?” He was squatting down, trying to see Chan's face.
   
Chan could feel it, the tears burned his eyes so badly when they were coming up. He grabbed the broken necklace pieces and jumped up, taking off anywhere but there.
   

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Sinn had left the dining hall to call him Mae, and was just ending the call when Dee called him.
   
“Yea?”
   
“Sinn! Are you with Chan?”
   
“No. Why?”
   
“Roon said that him and Han got into it but we can’t find either of them.”
   
Sinn hung up immediately and ran around the resort. Chan wasn’t in the two rooms, the garden, the lobby, the dining hall, etc. Before he went outside the building he spotted Han.
   
Han also saw him at the end of the hall, and couldn’t see that he was angry. “Ai’Sinn! Hey!” Sinn walled towards him, with only one thing in mind. “What are you…?”
   
“Where is he?” Sinn caught up to his classmate and stared him down.
   
Han scoffed. “I don’t know where he is, off dying of embarrassment somewhere.”

BAM!
   
Han stumbled back, holding his nose. “Sinn!”
   
“Don't fucking touch him again. That’s my final warning.” His chest rose and fell rapidly as he looked at Han with such hatred.
   
Han didn’t say anything back, just held his bleeding nose and glared at Sinn.
   
With that taken care of, Sinn went outside of the building and looked around the area. He wasn’t sure what he would do when he found Chan, or what he would even say. He just wanted to find the boy as soon as possible.
   
Just as he was getting impatient, he found Chan, sitting under a tree in the dark. As he got closer he could hear the sniffling.
   
He didn’t know what to do at first, so he simply sat down next to the boy. Chan had his knees up and his arms wrapped around them, his facing being in the middle facing down.
   
Sinn pulled up his arm and held it over Chan's back, hesitating whether or not to try and comfort him. He knew the boy's love language was physical touch. It was clear what he had to do. Sinn rested his hand on Chan's back and moved it slowly back and forth.
    
Chan knew who it was by feeling all of the bulky knuckle rings. He still kept his face down, afraid to show it to anyone.
   
Sinn saw Chan's phone on the ground in between them, shattered to hell. He also saw the boy clutching something in his hand, and a chain peeking out from between his fingers.
   
“Chan…”
   
“Go away.” It was the first time Chan had ever told Sinn that, and his senior hated the feeling it gave him.
   
“No.” If Chan was going to act like that, Sinn was going to defy him. He could hear the stuffiness in the boy's voice and he couldn’t simply go away.
   
“Hia…” Chan lifted his head to look at Sinn. His eyes were puffy and tears were falling.
   
Sinn hated that someone made Chan feel that way. He knew he was partially to blame. If he didn’t push he boy away he could’ve protected him. He brought his hand up to wipe Chan's tears, then moved it to the boy's back again. “Only call me that from now on.”
   
It only made Chan cry harder. He whimpered and tried to stop, but he couldn’t help it anymore. “I don’t mean to be so troublesome. Why do I have to fuck everything up all the time? It’s a miracle Pho is still around!” He couldn’t stop his mouth from frowning, and it killed Sinn inside. “You can leave me, if you want. I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want me around, either.”
   
Two long arms wrapped around Chan and pulled him in. One was around the boy's body, while the other held his head close to Sinn's chest. “Shhh…it's okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
   
Chan let it all out, leaning into Sinn. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, just that it helped him calm his emotions.
   
“P’Sinn…”
 
“What happened to ‘Hia’?”
   
“…Hia…”
   
“Hmm?”
   
“I’m sorry…Please don’t hate me.”
   
Chan didn’t have to say what he was sorry for, because Sinn knew what he meant. “I don’t hate you. It’s not your fault…I’m the one who’s sorry.”