Feel Something (BounPrem FF)

Chapter 15: Fever Dream

****Mild Sexual Content****
 

Saturday was bright and sunny, the perfect day for an afternoon football practice. Sweaty boys, all red in the face were spread out on the field under the scorching sun when their coach blew his whistle.
   
“Hit the showers! I’ll see you all next week.”
   
The team rushed towards the locker room together, ready to have eventful weekends. All except Chan, of course. He was too upset to go do anything. He wanted to go home or play video games and watch cartoons until he passed out.
   
Chan patted himself dry after a cool shower and got dressed. He was fully ready to go relax when Dee ran up to him. “Chan, can you do me a favor?”
   
“Yes, you can date my cousin.”
   
“What?” Dee couldn’t completely hear him, because of all of the echoing noise from their other teammates.
   
“Hmm?” Chan acted as if he didn’t say anything. “What is it?”
   
“Here.” He handed Chan some cash. “Can you go get Sinn some food. He’s sick. I was supposed to do it but coach needs to talk to me about our team trip.”
   
“Oh.” Chan looked at the money. Sinn was the last person he wanted to see, but it wouldn’t hurt to just drop off food. “Okay.”
   
“Take this, too.” Dee handed him a key card.
   

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
 

Chan looked up at the fancy apartment building. “Why do I have to be so nice? Why can’t I just say no?” He wasn’t looking forward to facing Sinn after their conversation the day before.
   
He knocked at the door first, but there was no answer. He couldn’t even hear shuffling of feet. “He better not kick me out…” Chan used the key card to get in, but it didn’t even look like anyone was there. “Hello?” No answer again.
   
He put the porridge down on the counter before wandering around, trying to see if Sinn was alright.
   
Sinn was asleep, however, and very disoriented. His fever dreams were of his life, and only the people who made him happy were in them. He got to see his yaai and dtaa, and spent time with them and spoke to them again.
   
“We're proud of you. We just want you to live your life like you deserve to.” His yaai was gentle, patting his head. “Be good to yourself. Have confidence in yourself.”
   
“What if it's too much to handle? What if we can’t make it on our own?” Sinn was on his knees, kneeling at their feet in the middle of a park, asking for honest advice.
   
“Do as she says. Everything will fall into place as it should be.” His dtaa was a scary-looking man, who was really caring and sweet once you got to know him.
   
“And open your heart, while you’re at it. I want to see you in love before I die,” his yaai joked.
   
“Here we go again,” dtaa rolled his eyes with a smile.
   
“Maybe even married…” She grinned widely. A smile that Sinn missed so much.
   
“What if I’m impossible to be with? Who will love me?”
   
“Who made you think you’re unlovable? I’d like to have a word with them!” She tilted her head up, challenging his questions.
   
“I guess…myself.”
   
“Close your heart and get ready for the cold. But find that flame and fan it with all you’ve got. It will keep you warm for as long as you let it.” His yaai's words struck him.
   
“A flame? What flame?” They didn’t answer, only faded away slowly, smiling at him then each other. “Wait! What flame?”
   
“P’Sinn…” He blinked once and was in his bed, with his junior bending down beside him. “Oh, good, you’re not dead,” Chan nervously joked, relieved that Sinn wasn’t too sick.
   
“What are you doing here?” Sinn's mind was foggy. He felt as if he was still dreaming.
   
“I brought you porridge.” Chan helped Sinn sit up, and pulled a chair closer, then held out a spoon. “Here.”
   
Sinn was wary, but took the porridge in his mouth. It felt so real, but he was too out of it to even taste anything. His eyes were barely open, and his head had so much pressure built up.
   
Chan had never seen his senior that sick before, and it secretly scared him. Sick people made him anxious since his mother passed away. He couldn’t go to a hospital without getting anxiety. If his Pho was sick, Chan would tend to him non-stop and make sure nothing happened. If he were sick himself, though, he wouldn’t pay much mind to it.
   
“Do you feel alright? Do you need to take more medicine?”
   
Sinn wasn’t sure what Chan was saying. He was in and out of sleep as he sat there. He still believed he was dreaming, and couldn’t even remember being sick. “Huh?”
   
“I asked if you need more medicine.”
   
“Why would I…ugh.” Sinn groaned and moved his legs to sit at the edge of the bed in front of Chan. “Why are you here?” Sinn wanted to know why Chan was in his dream, while Chan thought Sinn was being too much. The boy was only trying to help.
   
Chan scoffed, then placed the bowl on the nightstand. “Fine. I’ll leave.” He stood up and tried to walk away, but a hand grabbed his own. He looked back to find his senior.
   
Sinn was standing, and slowly swaying side to side. He looked tired, but Chan assumed that Sinn was fully awake, just drowsy. “I never said to leave.” The strong hand pulled Chan back, and their lips crashed together as Sinn held the boy’s waist tightly.
   
Their mouths kissed soft and slow at first, only getting a taste of each other. It quickly picked up and soon they sucked and let their tongues get entangled. Sinn was brave, and did what he wanted to do as he thought it was all in his head. He pushed the boy against the wall, grabbing Chan’s face with both hands as he kissed him.
   
Chan wasn’t startled anymore, but lost himself even more as he gripped Sinn's back, pulling him closer. The boy had made up his mind in those short few seconds that their mouths were attached. He had fallen for Sinn, and his heart had known before his mind.
   
He wanted to be with Sinn, even though the thought of a relationship scared him. What if they broke up? What if Sinn didn’t want to be with him? What if he was left heartbroken? Chan hadn’t experienced sadness in a long time, and was so afraid of the possibilities.
   
In their kiss, he didn’t care anymore. He threw the “what ifs” to the back of his mind and let his feelings take over. His mouth took a break as Sinn continued to kiss his lips. Chan panted softly as Sinn moved the kisses around his face, then to his neck.
   
“P'Sinn…” Only a groan could be heard from the boy’s neck. Chan closed his eyes, feeling a tingling feeling run through his body. “P'…” He lightly pushed his senior away, only to get stuck in Sinn's eyes.
   
Chan forgot what he was going to say. Sinn's eyes were very telling. They were barely open, but they watched the boy and looked around his face, looking at every detail.
   
“You’re a necessity…”
   
Chan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why was Sinn being like that all of a sudden? “But—”
   
Before Chan could finish his sentence, a strong hand was rubbing him. He looked down to see Sinn's hand on his hard-on. Chan lifted his head back up, looking Sinn in the eyes, but having a hard time controlling his breathing. He had never been played with by someone else, and it felt amazing.
   
He returned the favor, and put his hand on Sinn, watching as his senior's mouth opened up. Sinn's eyes closed and his head tilted up a bit, giving Chan easy access. The boy kissed the soft skin on Sinn's neck, with one hand below and the other on the back of Sinn's neck, keeping him close.
   
Nothing could’ve prepared Chan for that moment. He had never felt like that before, and was ecstatic that Sinn made a move. He wanted to stay in the heat, but suddenly Sinn became heavy.
   
Chan moved his face back to look at Sinn, but it wasn’t what he expected. Sinn's eyes were closed, and his cheeks were hot. He almost seemed like he was in pain.
   
“P’Sinn?” Chan wasn’t sure when it started, but his feelings were replaced with worry. Sinn stumbled backwards, and the boy reached forward and held on as tight as he could, wrapping his arms around Sinn's waist. “P’!”
   
His senior was out cold, but he was surely breathing. Chan let Sinn fall onto the bed, and moved his torso up to the top of the bed, then brought Sinn's legs onto the bed next. He tucked the older one in, and watched the rise and fall of Sinn's chest.
   
“You barely ate…” He decided that he would stay there to take care of Sinn when he woke up.
   
Chan retrieved an ice pack and a towel and sat next to Sinn on the bed, wiping down the soft face. “So brave for me. Your words didn’t match your feelings na.” Chan smiled, knowing exactly how Sinn really felt.