Feel Something (BounPrem FF)

Chapter 19: I Want to Cry

****Mild Sexual Content****
 
 
Dee and Sook went back to their room after dinner. Sook had to help his friend, though, because someone brought liquor and Dee had mixed it into his drinks. One of his arms was wrapped around Sook's shoulders, keeping him upright.
   
Dee wasn’t wasted, only buzzed, but he loosened up a lot when he was drunk. “Han, that bastard! Did you see him? Did you see what he did to Sinn?”
   
“Yes, yes, I saw. I was right next to you.” Sook spoke to Dee as if he were talking to a child.
   
“Are you mocking me,” Dee pouted, sticking his bottom lip out a bit.
   
Sook just laughed and opened their room door, tossing Dee off of his shoulder. “Go wash up, you reek of alcohol.”
   
Dee lifted his shirt to his face and sniffed. “I don’t think I smell funny.”
   
“Of course you don’t think so, you’re so used to that smell so your nose is blind to it.” Sook laid himself in bed and rested, pulling the blanket up with him.
   
Dee jumped on the bed and lifted the bottom of his shirt up. “Here, smell it! I promise it doesn’t smell!” He moved towards Sook, but the boy jumped up to his knees and moved away.
   
“Dee!” Sook jumped off of the bed and ran around, with Dee chasing him.
   
“Come on! Take a sniff!” He finally caught the boy, and threw his shirt over Sook's head. He could feel the tickling of Sook's hair on his chest.
   
“Oi! What are you trying to do? Suffocate me?” Sook was flustered, being so close to Dee's chest. He grabbed Dee's arms and pushed against them, so that he slid back out from under the shirt.
   
“Why so red? Like what you saw,” Dee teased.
   
Sook didn’t answer, just kept breathing heavily. His cheeks were pink and he didn’t want to answer because he did like it.
   
Dee's smiled faded as he watched Sook being flustered. He had never seen someone so cute. A strange feeling stirred in his chest, and it was dying to break free.
   
Sook couldn’t look away from Dee. His eyes fluttered as he tried to regain control of himself. He watched Dee drop his arms and walk to him. Sook wasn’t sure what to do, and his feet shuffled backwards.
   
Dee caught up to him at the edge of the bed and looked down at him. He saw Sook in a different light. His heart was certain.
   
Dee had gotten this feeling before, in little bits and pieces during his time with Sook, but he never realized what it was. It had taken him so long to understand his heart, but when he found out what it was telling him, he didn’t want to back down. After seeing Sook so ruffled, he knew the boy felt the same way.
   
Dee watched as Sook tried to back up, but was met with the bed, and sat down. He leaned down, with Sook moving back as much as he moved forward. Dee put his hands on the bed and watched Sook fully lay down as he kept following on top.
   
The only sound in the room was the heavy breathing coming from them as the tension rose. Sook's body was tensing, and Dee put his hand to Sook's chest, feeling his heart beating rapidly. His hand then slid up to the boy's neck, and wrapped around the side.
   
Sook's body was reacting to every touch, beyond what he could control. He knew Dee's body was the same, as he could feel Dee's bulge growing against him.
   
Dee watched Sook's pleading eyes and it turned him on so much. He couldn’t look away, and his hips moved to rub himself on Sook. He felt so good, and wanted to go even further. Before his eyes could close from the pleasure, he leaned down to kiss Sook, who was patiently waiting.
   
Dee was soft and gentle, kissing Sook's lips and slowly sneaking his tongue in. Sook broke down, becoming engulfed in the moment their tongues met. Dee used his hand that was on Sook's neck to keep the boy steady. He continued to rub on the boy down below, feeling the tightness of his stomach grow stronger.
   
They kissed in waves, with the intensity growing stronger. Sook wasn’t sure if he should have feelings for Dee, but that all went out the window when they kissed.
   
Dee moved his hand from Sook's neck down to his shirt, lifting it up and sliding it underneath. His hand rubbed over the smooth skin, going up until he reached Sook's nipple. He rubbed his hand over it, causing the boy's chest to rise. It became hard as Dee's hand massaged the area.
    
While he was going through the motions, Dee's eyes snapped open. He realized what he was doing and quickly popped up, off and away from Sook. The boy sat on his elbows, panting and confused. Dee looked at him, but then his eyes wandered elsewhere.
   
“Dee?”
   
“I…uh…I have to go…” He grabbed a hoodie and rushed out of the room.
   
A wave of darkness washed over Sook, who was still on the bed. He laid down and stared at the ceiling. It was happening again. Just as he predicted. Not only was he going to lose someone he loved, but he would also lose his best friend.
   
Chan heard a knock at the door and opened it to find his cousin in tears. “Sook?”
   
Sook walked past him and fell onto the bed face-down. He wiped his tears as he folded a pillow under his head. “Dee…”
   
“What did he do? Do I need a shovel?” Chan sat down next to Sook and patted his back.
   
“What? No…”
   
“What happened?”
   
“He…” Sook had a hard time delivering the sentence that he had said many times over. “…he used me. Just like all the rest. He used me as an experiment since he was drunk. He kissed me and took off like I was some sort of freak!”
   
Sook buried his face into the pillow and Chan continued to comfort him. He had been there for Sook before in the same way. Sook fell in love easily, but it was usually never with the right person. Chan was always there to pick up the pieces and put him back together.
   
Chan used to be jealous of Sook, because his cousin experienced the feeling of love so much. It was the heartbreak he wasn’t jealous of. What was the point of being so open to love if it shot you down every time?
   
“You can stay with me this weekend. Let's go get your things.”
   
“Really? “ Sook sat up and wiped his tears. Chan nodded. “But…what about P'Sinn?”
   
“He's…not happy with me right now. He’ll probably go stay with Dee anyway.”
   
“What?” Sook was confused, since they had just seen Chan and Sinn getting along at dinner. “What happened?”
   
“He's…” Chan didn’t want to tell Sook the details. He wasn’t even sure what he saw. Was P'Sinn into BDSM? It couldn’t have been his parents who hurt him. He had met Kaew and she was so sweet. Whatever the case, it was something Sinn wanted to hide, so he would respect that. “I overstepped again. You know him and his boundaries…”
   
“But I thought you’ve already kissed…and made up? You two seemed close at dinner.”
   
“I wish things were that simple. With P’Sinn, things are complicated.” Chan sat and thought about Sinn, and how he already missed him again.
   
“I thought you hated complicated things? Why do you linger?”
   
Why did he linger? He hadn’t put too much thought into it. “When I'm with him, I get this feeling like there’s a hummingbird in my chest. The wings move so fast it takes my breath away. And when he’s gone, it’s so empty that I want to cry.”
   
Sook saw the swelling of his cousin’s eyes and rubbed his back. “Have you told him how you feel?”
   
“I’m not good with feelings…” Sook knew that. Chan wouldn’t even cry in front of people. He had always been like that since he was young. He would isolate himself to cry and become emotional.
   
Sook had caught Chan once after his mother passed, but he stayed hidden to let his cousin grieve. Chan would come back out and act like he was fine. Chan would put on a brave face if he were in pain, because if he let it show then it was too real for him. If he let people see him like that then he would be too overwhelmed and not know how to reel it back in.
   
Chan accompanied his cousin to the other room to get his things. Sook left his extra key in the room, with no intention of coming back. Back at Chan's room, Sinn's things were still packed, so Chan set the bag at the door, in case Sinn came back. He assumed his senior wouldn’t want to stay there anymore. He was correct.