Feel Something (BounPrem FF)

Chapter 3: You Again

Chan was nervous about his first class without Sook. At least it was the last class of his day.
   
It was a small class, but was full of second years. He quickly realized that he wasn’t early enough to pick his own seat. Someone rushed by him as he scanned the room and the only one left was in the back, an isle seat. He hated isle seats, but regardless, he took it.
   
He sighed and whipped out his supplies. He glanced over at the guy next to him and found it to be the same one he had bumped into twice that morning. “Oh! It’s you.”
   
Sinn looked at Chan, but went back to his things just as quick.
   
“My name is Chan, what’s yours?”
   
No answer.
   
“Maybe he’s hard of hearing after all.” Chan got out a sticky note and wrote his name on it, then slid it to Sinn.
   
The silent second year looked at it, then up at Chan. “I can hear just fine.” He went back to his book.
   
“Why didn’t you answer me then?”
   
Sinn closed his book, annoyed. “Because I don’t have to.”
   
Before he could say anything back, the teacher entered. “Hello everyone! Please take your seats and I’ll begin by calling roll.”
  
Chan waited and watched as each student, including himself, answered when the teacher called their names. Then he finally learned the name of the person he wanted to know the most. Sinn Wonchai.
   
Chan couldn’t help but glance at Sinn throughout class. His senior was visually appealing, and Chan had never met anyone who hated him right off the bat. They would at least have a conversation before they decided to like him or not.

*Maybe he thinks I’m the rude one for bumping into him more than once.* Chan thought.
   
“Hey,” Chan whispered to the second year. “I'm sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to run into you so much.”
   
No answer.
   
“Hello?” He waved his hand in front of Sinn's face, making his senior glare at him in return.
  
“Please. Stop talking.”
   
Chan bit his tongue and smiled. “Fine…P'Sinn.”
   
Sinn rolled his eyes at the way the boy said it so sweetly. No one said his name like that, let alone spoke to him. He wanted it that way. He wanted silence. Sinn wanted to go to school and go home and get everyday over with.
   
He thought about telling the boy something, but the teacher interrupted, dismissing the class. Sinn picked up his things in a hurry and left. He knew it was going to be a long year if the kid kept bothering him.
   
He left Chan wondering what was going on in that head of his. The junior was curious and amused at the same time. He would surely win Sinn over by the end of the year.
 
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
    ****TW: talks of parental abuse****
 
 
   

Sinn wasn’t new to being lonely. He used to have friends just like everyone else. That all changed in his last few years of grade school.
   
His father passed away, leaving his mother, Kaew, with gambling debts, no money to live off of, and no money to keep Sinn’s grandmother in a nursing home. Loan sharks hounded them, and banks wouldn’t lend them money.
   
Their lives changed when his mother met Aawut.
   
At first, things were great. Aawut helped her pay down the debts and got the loan sharks to back off. His son, Dee and Sinn got along great, only being a year apart. Aawut paid for Kaew’s mother to stay in the nursing home. He was a wealthy businessman, and he even helped Kaew get a better paying job at a bigger hospital as a nurse.
   
Things changed after they got married when Sinn was 14. Aawut became aggressive towards Sinn out of nowhere. He made Sinn take care of Dee, who became a problem child as he grew older.
   
At first, it was just yelling at him when Dee got in trouble, making it Sinn's fault for not taking care of his brother. It grew to slapping, and even whipping. He was often yelled at for things he wore or liked, and being a ‘worthless child.’ If Sinn had a visible injury, he blamed it on a fight with other kids to hide it from his mother and teachers.
   
No one knew what was happening to him. He didn’t dare tell, but no one even asked. Aawut helped his mother, after all. The man threatened Sinn to leave them back where they were, with nothing, or worse.
   
At a young age, Sinn had to carry the burden of making sure his family was safe. He took the beatings and verbal abuse, just so that his mother wouldn’t have to suffer.
   
When he entered college, that didn’t change. He had his own apartment, but he still had to keep an eye on Dee. When he did go home, he would get the same treatment he did when he lived there.
   
Aawut didn’t do anything in front of Kaew, and she worked a lot as a nurse so she was rarely home. Sinn texted her a lot, and they kept a close relationship despite the small time they spent together. She would visit him on her free time and vice versa.
   
Sinn told himself that he would bear it all, at least until he graduated college. He could get a real job, then, and be able to take care of his hardworking mother, and his sick grandmother. Three more years. It seems like a long time, but it was nothing compared to the five years he had already endured.
   
Sinn focused on school and making sure Dee was taken care of. He spoke to his friends less and less until they cut ties, because he thought they would never understand or be able to help. They were in a whole other world than him, and he had to mature faster in order to survive.
   
As time passed, it was fine to him. He had gotten so used to being alone that it didn’t hurt anymore. He was simply numb. He had things he liked, changed his hair and clothing style, and had his own hobbies. The only thing he was missing was genuine human connections. He only had his mother to talk to and he hid his emotional state from her very well.
   
But he wasn’t living. He was simply existing in the bare minimum.