Idiots Meet Demigods

Farrah Mecine

Full disclosure: I don't have YouTube.

I gushed at my computer as I pressed play. This YouTuber, NotKelpHead was awesome. His real name was Percy Jackson. He always took songs and made them his own. Not by changing the lyrics, but by singing them it felt so raw and emotional. It was as though he was telling us his life through someone else's words. 

I watched my computer load and then-

"Yo, guys. If you're here looking for how to dissect an alien then ... you've come to the wrong place. In case you forgot or were too lazy to look, I'm NotKelpHead. Today, I'll be singing one of those older songs. But I really like this one because it has a good message and kinda says something about who you are now and how you could change to be better."

Music played. An image flashed across the screen of an old blue Prius with smoke rising and half on half off the road. 

It flashed back to NotKelpHead, "Run your car off the side of the road, Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere, Get yourself in a bind, lose the shirt off your back, Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare."

An image of four wheels a-bump a-bumping on an old gravel road flashed across the screen. 

Back to NotKelpHead, "This is where the rubber meets the road, this is where the cream is gonna rise, this is what you really didn't know, this is where the truth don't lie."

An image flashed to NotKelpHead tripping over his own feet and being caught by a blond boy with blue eyes and a scar on his lip. 

NotKelpHead came back on the screen, "You find out who your friends are, somebody's gonna drop everything run out and crank up their car, hit the gas get there fast never stop to think, 'what's in it for me?' Or, 'it's way too far.' They just show on up with their big old heart, you find out who your friends are."

An image of NotKelpHead doing a really stupid pose on a steep hill flashed.

And then NotKelpHead was singing again and the image flashed away, "Everybody wants to slap your back, wants to shake your hand when you're up on top of that mountain, but let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up and see who's around then."

"This ain't where the road comes to an end. This ain't where the bandwagon stops. This is just one of those times, when a lot of folks jump off."

An image flashed to NotKelpHead bleeding out of a very large wound and a blond boy helping him with many worried people surrounding him.

The image winked out, "You find out who your friends are, somebody's gonna drop everything, run out and crank up their car, hit the gas get there fast never stop to think, 'what's in it for me?' Or, 'it's way too far.' They just show on up with that big old heart, you find out who your friends are."

"When the water's high, when the weather's not so fair, when the well runs dry, who's gonna be there?"

An image of someone high-fiving NotKelpHead and laughing like they had made a hilarious joke.

"You Find out who your friends are, somebody's gonna drop everything, run out and crank up their car, hit the gas get there fast, never stop to think, 'what's in it for me,' Or, 'it's way too far.' They just show on up with their big old heart, you find out who your friends are."

The first verse replayed and then the music faded out. 

Big block letters read, "THE END." 

But my eyes narrowed in suspicion. Okay, maybe I had a massive crush on NotKelpHead. He was hot and sweet. 

The, "THE END." Faded and was replaced by a, "JUST KIDDING."

NotKelpHead came back on, "So. Here's what's up. My friends dared me to have y'all come and have like a live audience thingy. So, yeah. Um, my friends got Central Park rented out (Can u do that?) so on Friday, come to Central Park I guess. Uh, comment songs you want and I'll see what I can do." With that the video ended.

[~<^>~]

I got ready. I wanted to look my best. It would be dark, so subtle makeup would be best. My hair was down and curled. I was wearing a white crop top and the lightest blue jeans I had. I placed a small backpack on... well my back.

[~<^>~]

I snuck behind the curtain they had put up.

There I saw a girl, tan, blonde, grey eyes, kissing my Percy. 

'So,' I thought. 'This is my competition, very well.'

I screeched, and tripped over my own feet in a very attractive and elegant way.

The girl helped me up. She glanced at my untied high tops. 

"Thanks. Can you, um, tie my laces while I check to make sure I don't have any injuries."

She nodded and gave me a perfect smile. I placed myself on a bench. She kneeled down and began tying.

"Triple knotted, please." I requested.

I took off my bag, and unzipped it. I reached inside and took out a serrated blade. I grinned maliciously. No one would have to know. 

I raised my arm, and just as I was lowering my arm, she shifted and stood up. Somehow managing to not get herself stabbed in the process.

"K, done— what the Hades!" The girl shouted. Even with me sitting and her standing, it was obvious I was threatening her with a knife.

There were many muscular people behind the curtain. I may have whimpered.

"But, N— Percy belongs with me!" I caught myself before saying NotKelpHead.

"Piper, please export this psycho!" 

[~<^>~]

'Oh, well,' I thought staring through the bars of my jail cell. 'Next time.'