Inspired by: Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
I had invited my buddy Jason, (who claims he has a girlfriend) to my aunt and uncle's wedding. They knew each other, so it wouldn't be awkward.
But, I had invited Piper McLean (who claims she has a boyfriend) for an entirely different reason. Dam, that girl was gorgeous. So, of course, there was a DJ. I was hoping she would get up and dance.
The music started playing. First it started with random pop songs and then—
Piper stood up, gave Jason a kiss on the cheek and said, "See you in a sec."
She was about to dance!
Turn it up some
The DJ obeyed the song.
Alright boys, this is her favorite song,
you know that, right?
So, if we play it good and loud
I tried to see around the ugly sluts that thought this song was for them.
She might get up and dance again
Ohh, she put her beer down
Here she comes, here she comes
Left, left, left, right, left
Woo
Hustlers shootin' eight ball
Throwin' darts at the wall
Feelin' damn near ten feet tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him out his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault
It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm, make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There oughta be a law, get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)
Now Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her
It ain't right to hate her
For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we're hangin' out 'til three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
I really wanted to be her boyfriend right about then. Oh my god she was gorgeous. How Jason was able to sit back looking amused, I don't know
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There oughta be a law, get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout right there, honey)
We don't care about the drinkin'
Barely listen to the band
Our hands, they start a shakin'
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin' everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can't touch
The song changed abruptly and Piper came racing towards me...nope. Jason.
Despite being his best bud, I wanted to scream bloody murder at him.
And. Then. She. Kissed. Him
"Hold up, hold up, hold up, I thought y'all were in a relationship?"
Piper nodded, "With each other."
And that was the day I didn't get Piper McLean.
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