Serenades of Second Chances (BXB)

Morning sighs (Wed)

I wake up, being kissed by the god next to me. I look up at him, his hair tickles my forehead as he pecks my cheek. I smile and close my eyes, I relax against his frame. I spend the day with my mom today, and I'm supposed to act like everything okay. I frown.

"I know," Deven whispers, arms squeezing me. "You will be okay Angel. I know you don't like them or this situation, and you don't deserve it, but you are strong. I know you can get through this."

"Dev," I turn over and pull his body to mine.

"I know baby, it'll be okay. You will be okay."

"Nothing is okay," I look up at him. "Nothing is okay."

"Maybe not now, but it will be. These things take time and patience," his hand cups my face. "It will be, love. It'll be okay with time."

"I don't want to go. I want to rest here forever with you."

"I wish you could, but I'm gonna make you do this. And you know I'm not lying either."

"I know," I extend my neck up so I can peck his lips. "I love you."

Deven signs and pushed his arm underneath my waist. He locks me in a hold and pulls my body on top of his. I now am laying on top of him, he pulls me up and locks his lips with mine.

"I love you too, I do. I'll always be here for you, Angel. My Fallen Angel, I love you so much."

I slide my hands behind his head and pull him into a slow smooth kiss. We sat there, slow kisses, "I love you"s, playing with each others skin, occasional laughs. How long were we like that? I have no clue, but I loved every minute of it.

"Denny," Maya calls from the door. "Angel?"

He groans in annoyance. I know he loves his sister, but I also know the groan was because he wasn't finished with me. I peck Devens lips one more time then roll off of him. I stalk to the door, and open enough to peak my head out.

"Morning Maya."

"Angel!" She calls then yawns. "What is...Breakfast?"

"Are you already hungry?" Deven comes up behind me. His hand falls to my back and we open the door fully. Maya nods with a smile, Alex stretched with a yawn beside her. "Should I cook in or should we go out?" He looks at me.

"I'm not ready to leave yet," my hand goes to lay on his chest.

"I'll cook then, and make my famous pancakes."

I smile and nod, he leans down and kisses my forehead. He kneels and pats Alex's head.

"Maya, go shower and get ready. We're gonna go shopping a little after breakfast," he gives her a wink. She grins and nods, he puts his finger to his mouth and shushes her excitement.  "Go on, food will be done when you get out."

She nods and rushed into her room with Alex. Deven shuts the door and pressed my back to it, I laugh and lace my fingers through his hair. We kiss, pressing against each other.

"What about food?"

"You'd rather eat then this?" He laughs and kissed my jaw.

"Babe, I'm starving. You taste just as good as food, but right now I want some pancakes," I smile.

He chuckled then pecks my lips.

"I love you," He mumbles into my lips.

"I love you, Dev."

We kiss one final fine, then prepare for the day. I use Devens shower while he changes and goes to cook. I felt refreshed but still incredibly hungry. After the news of my mother I haven't been able to keep anything down, so I've never been more hungry than I am now. I wonder why everyone kept things hidden from me for so long. What my mother did to me and our family will not ever be made up for, and I know I have every right to be angry, but I also know I don't have the full story. I sigh and leave the room, heading to the stairs. Maya still in the shower listening to my acoustics, I smile as I walk down the stairs.

I hear sizzling and smell the amazing scent of sausage. I speed forward and wrap my arms around Devens back. I lean up and and kiss the side of his neck.

"Hi, Dev."

"Dev. You called me that in the car and swore to never do it again. What changed, Angel?"

"I just I like it. I was embarrassed before, so now that I'm comfortable I like it. Of course, Denny is never going away, don't get your hope up."

He laughs and flips the meat inside the pan. I stand behind him, laying my head against his back. I'm at peace, and I almost forget that I am going to be with my mother the entire day. I sigh and let go of Deven. Instead, I go and start getting the coffee pot ready.  I grab the ground coffee and pour some into the thin white paper. I sigh and push the coffee into the top, then shut it and turn on the power button to start boiling the water.

"You're sighing a lot, love. What's going on in your head?"

I slowly work my way back over,  hugging his side as I watch the bacon sizzle in the pan.

"Nothing. My head is so empty, I feel like I don't have a brain. Does that make sense?"

I pick up some bacon and rip off a bite with my teeth. Deven opens his mouth, I smile and stick some bacon in his mouth. He takes a bite and grins.

"Of course it makes sense, well, to me it does. I felt the same when my mother and father left, when I realized May was my responsibility and I had no help. I get it, and I also know this feeling doesn't last forever. You have a support system, you have an amazing boyfriend who will always be here for you," he pushed his hip gently into mine. "You have amazing friends who love you, and you have May who adores you and can always make you feel better. You got us to keep your feet on the ground and your head on straight. No more relapsing, you'll stay sober as your work through this. I'll be here to support you."

"I don't deserve you," I smile and kiss the back of his neck.

"Of course you do, Max. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to love, you deserve to have people that care for you," he turns off the burner and moves the pan. He grabs my hand and pulls me away from the stove. "I love you, Max. You deserve love."

My hands grab his neck, his hands slide to my hips. I stare into his brown eyes, wondering how on earth I met such an amazing human, how this amazing person ended up loving someone like me. And at the same time I feel my skin crawl. I feel my anxiety triggering my mind, telling me to relapse. Telling me it's time to go smoke, it's time to drink, it's time to wast my life away on drugs. So instead I close my eyes and shake my head.

"What's going on hun, tell me," he whispered and laid his forehead on mine.

"I want to relapse, my skin is itching, I feel so restless, I have to do something."

I open my eyes to meet his dilated, beautiful, worry filled pupils. He pressed forward, our noses rubbing. I close my eyes again and gently kiss his lips. His hands pull my hips into his, my hands slide over his shoulders and into his hair. He pulls back.

"I love you Max," he mumbles.

"I love you Deven," I let a tear fall from the corner of my eyes, and I lock our lips together again. The way it should be. The way it feels right. The only way I'll keep from relapsing. "I don't think I can do today," I say after a few seconds of collecting my thoughts.

"I know you can, Max. You're so fucking strong, I know you can do this. I know if you don't do this you'll regret it later. You don't have to stay forever love, show up for a bit and talk to her," Deven grabs my arms, rubbing his fingers into my skin. "If you need, call me and I'll be there. But, give it a chance Max."

I stood in his arms until I finally sighed and agreed. If I was doing this today, I will be getting questions answered.

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