Serenades of Second Chances (BXB)

Drunk words are sober thoughs (fri)

"Hey, guys!" Deven links his arm around my neck as we walk up to the bar.

There's a bunch of "hey"s and "hi"s all at once, Deven and I grin and we show our IDs to get in.

We all quickly order a round (shots), then we sit at a large booth and just talk as we get more rounds.

"Max almost got hit by a car 30 minutes ago," Ashly comments after we were talking about cars.

"Hold on, seriously?" A girl I haven't gotten the name of yet, but I remember from last time, asks.

"It's no big deal," I shrug with a smirk.

Deven glares at me, nudging my shoulder as he's sitting next to me.

"I saved this dude's life, yeah. Not a big deal," he shrugs and I laugh.

I link my arm around his neck, pulling him down to my level with a grin.

"Yes, he saved me," I still look at the girl. "It was pretty cool, he pulled me back just as the car was about to hit me. Jackass wasn't lookin where they were going."

Deven removes himself from my hold but continues to stare at me. "Cool?"

"Yeah, cool, it was like out of a movie," I turn to look at him.

He laughs slightly, then turns back to the group. We continued to talk, and of course, I drank too much because it feels like I  haven't drank in forever.

"Stop," Deven lays his hand over the top of my beer bottle before I can drink out of it. "You are too drunk for your good," he laughs.

"I'm only a little, I want more," I move my beer away from him, turn my head then drink out of it.

I set the empty bottle down on the table with a grin. People who I'm not exactly close with a grin back, cheering me on, but Deven now looks at me with concern. Ronny taps his shoulder, then whispers something to him that I can't hear because of the music and the chattering all around me. I'm too drunk to even be paying attention, I knew I shouldn't have come. Deven looks at me again and give me an even more concerned look.

"Max... you used to be an addict?" He whispers.

"Ronny, the hell man?!" I yell at him, the group now hushes and turn to watch.

"What's the matter, you guys are best buds but you haven't told him yet?" Ronny looks unamused.

"Of course not! Why would I?" I get up from the booth, thank god I was the last one in.

"Max, wait," Deven gets up after me.

I walk to the door.

"Wait, Max," he runs out after me, it's raining again. Of course, it raining. I walk to the road, angry.  "Max, fucking wait!" He grabs my arm pulling me back. He turns me to look at him. "What's wrong?"

"That! That right fucking there!" I point at him. "I didn't want you to fucking know!"

"Why?" I'm surprised he can keep a calm voice as I'm yelling at him. "Why wouldn't you want me to know?" He grabs both my shoulders so I don't get pissy and run off again.

"Because, you and May look up to me, I don't want you to look down on me," I lower my head, his grip on my shoulders soften. "Yes, I used to be an addict. So when I do drink I get so fucked up I don't know what I'm doing. For Christ's sake, I flirted with you and a male bartender when we first met. Drunk me is a fucked up me, right now I'm fucked up. I know it too, and I don't want to fuck up more right now."

He pulls me into a hug, drunk me loves it. It's not the normal bro hug we do, this one is different somehow. Drunk me, a me I hate so very much along with the high me, wants to pull him into a kiss. Why the fuck do I want to kiss him? I don't know, but I know I'm going to forget all of this tomorrow and will regret all of this.

"I like you," drunk me admits.

What the hell am I saying? No, I don't! As a friend yes, as a lover never. I could never love a male, befriending a male is possible, but dating a male is a big 'fuck no'.

"You don't mean this."

"Yes, I do."

"Max, you are drunk off your ass."

"Drunk maybe, but I know what's happening."

"No, you don't. You are drunk."

I pull away and push him against the nearest wall. I stare at him in the eyes.

What the hell am I doing?! I am way too drunk, I need to go. I need to do something. I know drunk me wants this, but I'm not gonna remember any of this for 1, and 2 drunk me is an irrational twisted person.

"Max..."

"Deven, I-" I cut myself off, and just stare at him more "I don't know what I'm doing," I say and I feel something warm run down my face. It's not the rain, rains not warm, it's tears.  I'm crying, why?

He rubs the tears away, staring at me with concern.

"We need to get you home."

"No," I push him back against the wall then grab his face. "No, I wanna-"

"Don't do this, Max, I know you don't know any of your actions right now. Don't do this."

I don't listen and inch forward. I stop before our lips connect, then let my hands slide down to his shoulder. I collapse in tears, laying my head against his chest.

I'm so sick of myself right now.

"I'm sorry," I whisper out. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me into the hug.

"Let's get you home."

---------

I take off my jacket and shirt, then pull off my semi-wet skinny jeans and get in my sheets. He walks over, moves my still wet hair out of my eyes, then leans down.

"You'll be okay tonight, right?"

"Stay."

"I can't, not with you like this," he rubs another tear off my cheek with his thumb.

"Please, I need you," I hold the hand that's resting on my cheek.

"You know you won't remember any of this tomorrow, right?"

"I know. Stay."

"You-" he sighs then smiles sadly. "You better not freak out on me tomorrow."

I smile, blinking away another tear. He walks to the other side of the bed, then strips down to his boxers and gets next to me, but keeps distance between us.

I moved closer to him, laying my head on the bicep next to his face. Our faces are an inch apart.

"I like you," I mumble again, then place my hand on his chest.

"You're still drunk."

I lean in and plant a soft kiss on his lips. It feels hot, warm, I feel something I haven't felt in a long time. My heart feels on fire, it's been 2 years since I've had this feeling.

He doesn't respond, but he doesn't push away, letting my lips linger on his. I fell upset when he didn't kiss back, but I am also happy he didn't push me away.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, your not in your right mind. You'll forget all of this tomorrow, so you don't need to worry."

"I want to remember this though," I mumble out, feeling my eyelids get heavy.

There's a small laugh, then arms hug me. I feel him plant a kiss on the top of my head.

"Everything will be okay, Angel, just sleep."

"Night Denny."

"Night Angel, sleep well."

"You too."