Serenades of Second Chances (BXB)

Setting it straight (sun)

"What do you want to talk about?"

"First off, are you okay? You look exhausted..." I reach out, cupping his face into my hand, and rub my thumb under his eye.

"I'm fine," he grabs my hand, and hesitantly brings it down. "I just haven't been sleeping well, it's nothing to worry about."

"I know I messed up somehow, and I know I hurt you. What did I do? I'm sorry I don't know what I did, but I want to make this right."

He looks shocked for a second, then goes back to the poker face. "You didn't do anything to me, what are you talking about?"

"What happened that Friday night," I noticed he gulped, see I did something. "After I ran out because of being drunk? I need to know. I did something, obviously something stupid, so I need to correct it. I need you to tell me, please?"

He looks down at the iced coffee in his hands. He takes his hands off the cup and puts them on his face, leaning onto the kitchen island.

"I don't think you want to know...." he sighs out. "You'll- I don't think you'll react well."

My heart races with worry. Is it that bad?

"Deven, please tell me," I remove his hand from his face so he's looking at me.

He stares at me for a minute, his eyes trailing every inch of my face down to my hands that are still holding his. Once I realize it, I squeeze his hands, then let go of them.

"Don't flip out or anything when I tell you. You were drunk, and it's okay, I don't care about what happened."

"I won't, I promise."

"Okay, what do you remember last form that night?"

"When we were talking about work moments and rude customers."

"That's helpful. Okay, we talked for a while, and we brought up the almost accident. You were already really drunk, so I tried to stop you but you wouldn't. Ronny told me about how you used to be addicted to alcohol, for reasons I don't know and I don't care. A little bit of that addict is still there, but I know that's not entirely you, so I don't care why you were addicted. But, the fact he told me made you completely lose it. You got real mad at him and stormed out in the rain. I went after you, but I told the others to stay behind so I could try and calm you down.

"You said you got upset because May and I looked up to you, and you didn't want us to have anything to look down at you about. You went on about how you get fucked up when your drunk. You looked so broken, I reacted before I could think and I just hugged you. Then you..." he clears his throat, making me more nervous. "You told me you liked me."

I feel my heart sink. There's no fucking way I did that, why the hell would I do that?! Wait, so drunk me knew I liked Deven before sober me knew I liked Deven. Fuck, I'm never touching alcohol again.

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean anything by it, you were drunk and out of your mind. Umm, I can see by your reaction right now you are not happy with what happened, but other things happened. Are you sure you want to know the whole night?"

"Yes, just tell me. Please."

"Okay. After you told me that, I told you I knew it was just because of the alcohol, but you insisted. You blocked me up into a wall," he covers his face with his hands, but he leaves his mouth visible so it's not muffled. "You started crying, saying you didn't know what you were doing. I wanted to take you back home but you pushed me back against the wall and you were about to kiss me. You stopped and cried more, I let you calm down for a minute, then I brought you home.

"You got in bed, I was going to leave but you wanted me to stay. I didn't want to stay, because I knew you might've pulled something like the wall thing again. But, I agreed and stayed. I laid next to you, still keeping away but you just brought yourself closer. You told me you liked me, again, but this time when I told you that it was just the alcohol.... you kissed me."

I probably look horrified right now, because I am. No wonder he ignores me! How could I do that?! I can't believe I did that! Of god, fuck, I didn't want to do that! I wanted to, I want to now. Wait? I want to now... yeah, I want to kiss him now. But after all of this, there's no way.

"But, I didn't react... I didn't kiss back but I didn't push you away. So, half of it is my fault, and I'm sorry about that. But, after you just, kinda, fell asleep"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know I did that. I can't believe I would do that. God, I'm so inconsiderate when I'm drunk. Now I understand why you would be distant, I fucking kissed you. 1) without permission, 2) I was drunk, and 3) the next morning I couldn't remember it. I'm so sorry I did that to you, then made it seem like it meant nothing to me," I say and pace around the kitchen. "I'm sorry I did that to you," I stop and look at him. He looks in shock.

"Say that again?"

"I'm sorry I did that to you?"

"No, before that."

"I made it seem like it was nothing-" I cut myself off, realizing I said that.

"What do you mean, you made it seem like it was nothing..." he walks towards me. "Does it mean something to you?"

"Umm, so you see, that's the other thing I wanted to talk about. Umm, I do really like you. Like, more than just a friend, in a romantic way is what I mean by that. Physically too..." I feel the heat rise to my face, making me turn my head.

"You actually like me? Like, not just drunk you confessing, but you're sober?"

"Yes, I'm completely sober, and I like you."

"Let me get this straight. Drunk you knew you liked me before sober you did?"

"Yeah. But... do you?"

"Do I what?" He asks and I look back over to see a big shiny white grin.

"Do you like me as I do to you?"

"You know," he grabs my hands in his, intertwining our fingers. "I've wanted to kiss you for a while, but you being drunk wasn't the way I wanted it to happen."

I inch forward, knowing what he's going for.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, looking me straight in the eyes.

I close my eyes, then tug his hands towards me, and kiss him.