Sudden decisions

14 - Opposing Positions

Sanem

I slept little and badly this night. I came home very late after spending hours on the rocks looking at the stars while thinking seriously, perhaps for the first time in my life, about what to do with my future. I went inside being very careful not to make any noise and then slipped into my room to avoid having to face my parents. In the course of the night I heard my mother peeking through the door to check that I had returned and I pretended to be sound asleep.

I struggle out of bed with all the weight of the sleepless night, but with the knowledge that it is time to start shaping my plans for the future. It is Tuesday and the situation needs to be clarified as soon as possible, before my mother begins preparations for a visit that will not be there.

I leave the house early to get to the agency, avoiding going into the kitchen to have breakfast because I have no desire to meet my parents and I don't wait for Leyla so that I don't have to put up with all her questions during the trip to the agency, I wouldn't be able to do it right now.

On my way to the bus stop I pass Osman's butcher shop just as he is opening its shutters.

"Good morning Sanem, what's with the dark face in the early morning, do you miss Ayhan? She'll be back tonight don't worry, Auntie Merve has recovered and doesn't need her help anymore".

I smile happily, these days Ayhan was in Izmir to assist her aunt who was undergoing a delicate operation and it had been impossible even to hear us by phone as there was no mobile phone reception in the hospital where she was. I still haven't told her anything about what happened after Fabri's company party, she doesn't know about Can and the absurd situation I got myself into.

'Good, I've missed her so much. I need to talk to her, so much has happened..."

I lower my gaze because I know Osman can read every nuance of my mood, always has.

"Are you alright Sanem?" He comes closer, resting his hands on my arms seeking my gaze with a worried expression. "I'm not Ayhan, but you know you can talk to me about anything you're worried about right?"

I nod touched, bring a hand to his cheek in a gentle caress of thanks. "You are so dear Osman, I know I can count on you like a brother, thank you." We exchange a smile of sincere affection hugging each other, we have grown up together and are truly like brother and sister forever.

I hear the sound of a car engine coming to a halt behind me, I absentmindedly turn around and with a pang in my heart I find myself meeting Can Divit's slitted closed eyes who is watching me with a serious look.

"Can?"

He nods in a gesture of greeting "Sanem..."

Surprised to find him early in the morning on the streets of my neighbourhood, I melt away from Osman's embrace and make the introductions a little uncomfortably.

"Osman, this is my boss, Can Divit. Can he is Osman."

I say no more, Osman is Osman to me, he is brother and friend, confidant and playmate, but this is not the place to tell him who the boy is who has always been so important to me. Can gives him a quick nod and then turns to me in an icy tone. "Come Sanem, I came to pick you up to go to the agency together."

I'm surprised that he came looking for me in the neighbourhood, I didn't expect it, but at least I'll have the opportunity to talk to him calmly.

I nod, turn briefly for a nod towards Osman and then get into the off-roader. Can starts as soon as I close the door in a squeal of tyres, I am taken aback by the sudden movement of the car and find myself slumped against the seat in a dishevelled manner.