Sudden decisions

2 - A dreamy night

Can

I can't fully understand Sanem Aydin, a woman who knows how to be sensual and naive at the same time in an unusual combination, all her own.
In the coral dress I chose for her at the party, she was certainly beautiful, intriguing and sexy, but now, wearing my oversized clothes, she is able to be even more enchanting in my eyes.
The time I spend with her always runs fast, carefree, almost unreal and it's like that also this time, we share the tasks to prepare dinner, she picks the vegetables for the salad I think about preparing the fire to cook the meat.
Returning from the back with my arms full of wood, I am fascinated by a wonderful creature who moves freely and sensually to the rhythm of an enthralling music.
Observing her, I am fascinated by the grace and energy she emanates, and the lines of a poem by an author I have always loved come to mind...

'Yes, she was mad.
God, she was all mad.
Every day she was a different woman.
One time resourceful, the next clumsy.
Sometimes exuberant, sometimes shy.
Insecure and determined.
Sweet and arrogant.
She was a thousand women, but the scent was always the same.
Unmistakable.
That was my only certainty.
She smiled at me, she knew she was fooling me with that smile.
When she smiled, I no longer understood anything.
I couldn't speak or think.
Nothing.
Suddenly there was only her.
She was crazy, all crazy..."
(Charles Bukowski)

One thing was certain, Sanem Aydin was special, I had never met anyone like her before.
When she catches a glimpse of me out of the corner of her eye she freezes instantly and, confirming the words of the poem, looks around shy, awkward and adorable in her sudden blush.
It's always like that with her, she's capable of surprising me all the time and I can't stay away from her even though I know that it would be the right thing to do since she's engaged to another man.
It's impossible, I'm not capable of it, I want to treasure every precious moment together and right now I'm intent on thinking only of the here and now.
So I enjoy every moment of the dinner, his chatter and his exuberance that grows with every sip of wine.
At a certain point, babbling incomprehensible phrases, I see her moving unsteadily towards the shed to put on some music. She then comes back out inviting me to dance with an imperious.
"Bad king! Come, come. You owe me a dance."
It's true, at the party I promised her a dance, I smile as I wonder why she called me that, but then I see her spinning unsteadily and I set aside all other thoughts to focus on the wonderful feeling of holding her in my arms again.

I feel like I'm living a dream, I'm enchanted by the softness of her body, by that wonderful, slightly tipsy smile and then by her perfume that envelops me when she rests her head on my chest.

Her perfume, 'that' perfume, which has bewitched me, has inextricably linked me to a stranger kissed in the darkness of a theatre and then allowed me to recognise her among many in real life.
A unique and singular perfume, just like her.
While I hold her tightly to me I decide to talk, to tell her the whole truth about our first, magical meeting and about who the man she is really looking for is.

"Sanem, do you think it's time to talk?"
A choked assent from her and I pluck up courage.
"Here...the albatross you're looking for...It's me..."

I wait with a pounding heart for his reaction, wait for her to recover from her surprise and say something, but when no sign comes from her I lower a questioning look to her face.
I can only sigh in resignation when I realise that she has practically lost consciousness in my arms, she keeps moving with me to the slow rhythm of the music, but she is actually sleeping standing up in the true sense of the word.
Apparently Miss Aydin can't hold her liquor very well, I think, rolling my eyes.
I hold her tighter to me as I gently stroke her hair and smile at the irony of the situation.

When I realise that her legs are giving out I pick her up and carry her into the shed laying her gently on the sofa.
I bend down in front of her to watch her sleep blissfully, I brush a lock of hair from her face in a gentle caress while I smile and shake my head resignedly.
I can't take her home in this condition, that's for sure.

I sit on an armchair opposite the sofa and watch her for hours, unable to think of letting myself go to sleep. I just want to look at her, fill my eyes and soul with her beauty and imprint the features of her beautiful face in my mind.

I hardly notice the time passing and the light slowly changing until I realise that the sun is rising on a new day.

It's time to move, I make some tea and bend down again to look closely at her just as her eyes quiver to slowly open on me.

She smiles at me, then her gaze moves across the shed and towards the window lit by the first rays of the sun, she opens her eyes wide and jumps up to sit down exclaiming "Anne, mummy!"