Sudden decisions

47 - The bitter reality

Can

I see her get up and walk back into the bedroom without saying a word, this is confirmation that what I accused her for is the pure truth, she didn't even try to defend herself.

I run my hands through my hair in a nervous gesture, I know I was very hard on her, but since I opened my eyes this morning all I've done is think about that audio and curse myself for what happened last night. I shouldn't have let it happen, I had promised myself that since I had discovered the true motives behind every action of the woman I found myself marrying.

I would not have wanted to listen to Huma's words when, the night before the wedding, she had turned up in the middle of the night at my house. Only Allah knows I have not trusted her for a long time, so I had cut short her request to talk to me.

"We have nothing to say to each other Huma, I have told you and I repeat even now that I want you to stay away from me, out of my life, now and forever. Go back to where you have been all these years, no one here needs you."

She held up her hands in a gesture of resignation and said, "Fine, fine Can, you don't want me around and you don't need me, but I am your mother in spite of everything and if I know you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life I can't stand by and do nothing."

I shook my head impatiently. "Again with the story that Sanem is not good enough for me? You have tired me, leave me alone, I am the one who decides my life and you have no right to meddle."

"Fine, you don't want to listen to my words then let me let you hear the truth directly from the voice of your beloved." She pulls out her smartphone from her handbag and presses a button to start an audio playback.

"By marrying Can, don't you think I have already ensured that I will live off my income for the rest of my life? I have achieved my goal."

My heart skips a beat, I swallow hard as I try to rationalise what I just heard. It was definitely Sanem's voice, but the meaning of his words is too much to process on the spur of the moment in front of my mother's watchful gaze.

I quickly collect myself. 'Go away Huma, you have done your duty as a caring mother, but I keep reiterating that I am the one who decides my life and what I want for sure is to never see you again. Hoşçakal, goodbye."

I turned around and entered the house without giving her another glance, she no longer deserves any consideration, not after she abandoned me so many years ago. Reaching my room, I let myself fall heavily on the bed, bringing one arm over my eyes as if not wanting to see the reality of what was happening. A notification sound alerted me to an incoming message. Who could it be at that time of night? The number was unknown, it was not among those registered in my address book, I opened the attached file and there it was again, that voice and those words.

I listened to it hundreds of times, unable to stop. It was definitely Sanem's voice, there was no doubt about that and the words she spoke left little room for interpretation. I could not believe that I had been so wrong in my judgement of that girl. She had immediately appeared to me as so candid, pure, true in a way I had never known in any other before and instead I realised I was about to marry a liar, a spy, a manipulator. Because of her I had almost lost my licence to be a photographer, my job, the thing that matters most in the world to me, and now I was also discovering that her every action had only been motivated by a desire to trap me into a shotgun marriage so that she could lives a life of comfort.

It was not easy to assimilate this new knowledge, I did not sleep a wink that night thinking of every possible solution, but in the end I had to accept that the only valid one was to go through with it. The reasons that had led me to decide to marry her were still valid, whatever her true intentions, because the fact remained that I could not go back on my word to her parents and I could not disappoint my father. Not now that his health had drastically deteriorated. The next day was not an easy ordeal, I had to face the wedding and pretend all the time that I was the happiest of newlyweds in front of the people who were there to observe our every gesture.