Sudden decisions

74 -Future

Can 

"Today I would like to rectify my many past mistakes so here I am officially asking you."

 I take a deep breath as I feel my heart burst with love for the wonderful woman in front of me and at the same time with fear because this time I want to get it right, I want everything to be perfect. 

"Will you marry me Sanem Aydin? Not because YOU MUST, but because it is really what YOU WANT this time? Will you be my life partner for as many days, months and years as Allah wills to give us on this earth?" 

I hold my breath as I see her eyes widen, her face breaking into a beautiful smile, she nods and replies confidently: "Yes Can Divit, I want to marry you. This time not because I have to, but because I want to, with all my heart, I want to marry you, ". 

I take Grandma Semiha's ring and holding my breath, I put it on her finger, feeling the strong emotion of knowing that it is right, that I have fulfilled the wish of the one who raised me with so much love. The ring of the most important woman in my life in the past is now where it belongs, on the ring finger of the most important woman in my life now and in the future. I stand up and impetuously take her in my arms, spinning her around with me, her silvery laughter fills my heart and soul. This is the most beautiful sound, I want it to be the essence of my days and my whole life, her laughter united, one day, to that of all the children that Allah wills to give us.

When we stop breathless, I look intensely into her eyes, take her face in my hands and whisper: 'Thank you for deciding to give me another chance, thank Allah for finding you again and your good heart for agreeing to marry me in spite of all that I have put you through, thank you askim, my love'.

I kiss her as perhaps I never did, not even that first night on the rocks when I thought everything was perfect and instead there was still too much to clarify between us. This kiss is love, passion and belonging, I know it is a unique moment, the first of many special moments waiting for us. Leyla and Ayhan's discreet chatter brings me back to reality, I struggle away from Sanem, returning to the present and what is about to happen. I take her face back in my hands and look at her intently. 

"Are you ready?" Her confused look softens me, she has no idea what is about to happen. 

"For what?"

I take her hand and guide her to where her sister and best friend are waiting for us, then turn to her to explain.
"Like for what, to become my wife Sanem, for what else?".
Her look of dismay is the most beautiful reward for all the hours spent organising everything in great secrecy for this day to be special. I gently push her towards Leyla and Ayhan.
"Girls, I'm counting on you!" Sanem turns to me still puzzled.
"But Can what does that mean? "
I take her hands in mine.
"It means if you want it today will be our day Sanem, do you want to marry me, here, now? Do you want today to be the day we become husband and wife without any doubt and imposition? Do you trust me?"
His gaze turns serious, fixes on mine for a few moments in which I tremble, then he smiles a wonderful smile.
"Absolutely."
I relax in spite of myself, for a moment I had feared I was facing the stubborn Sanem of the early days again, I would never want to impose anything on her again. I smile, touching the tip of her nose playfully as I wink at her.
"Then today is that day, I entrust you to them, see you in a bit."

As I leave to go round the house I turn to watch them as they giggle as they enter through the French window directly into the living room as agreed with Ayhan and Layla. Trying to be as quick as possible, I rush into what will soon finally be our bedroom and which, until now, has witnessed that one night together, the one to which my father forced us under false pretences, but which was also the moment of truth for me. As I put on my dinner jacket and finish tying my tie knot, here he comes: Azis, my rock, my anchor, my only certainty in a childhood otherwise devoid of affection and roots. 

"Oğul, son, are you ready? It is time to go otherwise your future bride will arrive before you." I cross his gaze in the mirror as I smile.
"I don't think that's possible, I guess Ayhan and Leyla won't let Sanem go until they feel she is more than perfect." He walks alongside me clapping a hand on my shoulder and then brings himself in front of me to finish him off in my place since my hands are shaking and I don't seem to be able to tie a proper knot.

"Bravo my aslan, my lion. I am proud of you, you went to get your wife back and I am happy that you decided to do things right, you owed it to that poor girl who had to suffer so much from you. I was always rooting for you because, from the way you looked at her, it was clear that there was more behind your union than duty or your wounded pride'. I can't help but agree with him I nod, smiling. "
At the time I wasn't aware of it either, but with time I realised I was in love with her even before I met her in fact" I smile thinking about our kiss in the theatre as he looks at me confused.
"One day I will calmly explain to you babam, but you are right, going after her was the wisest move I have made in a long time and, what you don't know, is that in Gölcük I didn't go to get my wife only, but my whole family."

He stares at me for a few moments, slowly assimilating the meaning of my words, then bursts into an exclamation of jubilation, throwing himself at me to hug me tightly.

"Oh, Can, what wonderful news! You could not make me happier than this on this day."
I can't help but squeeze him tightly in my turn in a loving embrace.
"After all that has happened we all needed a reason for new hope to look forward to the future babam" He loosens his hug to look at me with eyes moist with happiness.
"You are right, you have given new meaning to this poor old man's life, I can't wait to be a grandfather".

I smile putting my arm on his shoulders and heading towards the door and the no longer lonely, but full of promise future that awaits me next to the woman of my life.