Sudden decisions

77 - Seni çok seviyorum

Sanem

We will always remember our wedding as a day full of love, affection and much, much merriment. Singing and dancing lasted well past midnight and it seemed as if no one wanted to put an end to a memorable evening. Having said goodbye to our last friends, we turned off the lights in the house and paused for a long time in front of the landscape that could be admired from the garden of what has now truly become our home. The sky is quilted with millions of stars mingling with the city lights shining on the opposite side and then reflected in the waters of the Golden Horn below us.

'Are you tired sweetheart?'
His warm breath whispering in my ear as he holds me close to him sends a shiver of anticipation through me. I sigh happily as, with my back against his chest, I let him enclose me between the huge wings of my albatross.
'Absolutely not, I wish this night would never end, in fact...'
I turn in his embrace, rest my hands on his chest catching his gaze in the bright light of the rising moon '... I want this night to never end, I want thousands of nights like this to be lived together after days when we have shared everything and you will have had a chance, every single moment of your life, to keep your word and prove to me that you love me'
He nods, looking at me with a gaze full of love as he gently strokes my cheek and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear.

'I ask for nothing more Sanem, every day, every evening, every night with you by my side as part of my life, just as you are already so much a part of my heart'.

I detach myself from him, take his hand and guide him through the French window of the living room, then down the corridor to what is now our room. We stand in the middle of the room for an interminable time, our hands intertwined and our gazes locked. I feel all the emotion of this moment and almost cannot find the words to express it.

'Apart from our magical meeting each other everything or almost everything was wrong from the beginning Can. So many mistakes, lies, misunderstandings: we could have handled many situations differently. After our separation you asked me to give you a chance to show me your love, to do the right thing, to make things right. I can't say that you didn't, since you joined me in Gölcük you have done nothing but shamefully spoil me and today, with this beautiful ceremony, you have given me what I didn't even know I wanted: a real marriage.'

'Our new beginning.'

Whispers he smiling sweetly.

'Yes, our new beginning, our wedding night. Not that I have anything to complain about the previous one, but now that I know I am truly your wife, that you consider me so, everything is different and I want to be your Can, yours forever.'

I hear him hold his breath as his eyes light up with a deep emotion, a feeling that I feel mirrors my own.

'I am yours too, I have been since that magical first kiss in the theatre when I felt with all my heart that you had to be mine.'

He takes my face in his hands and kisses me in a way we have never experienced, never before has he possessed my lips and his arms have held me like this, as if he feels the need to fuse our bodies.

It's a strange sensation that makes me lose my balance so much that I have to cling to his shoulders as if my whole life depended on it. Squeezed between us my abdomen rounds with our baby who chooses this very moment to make himself felt for the first time. A sharp thump makes us both gasp.

'Did you feel it Can?' I ask excitedly, but I don't need him to answer, I can see in his eyes all the excitement of this special moment. 'Yes, it was incredible Sanem ... our little girl ...'

I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck. 'You keep being so sure it's a girl and what if it's not?'

He replies, interspersing his words with little kisses on my neck.

'If it doesn't turn out to be a girl then we will have to ... commit ... right away ... a lot ... and for a long time ... to give our boy a little sister'. The touch of her lips on my skin is making me almost lose my train of thought.

'I don't think I will complain about it, in fact, I can't wait Can Divit'.

Then there is no more room for words, his lips passionately taking mine, the breaths becoming hurried. At last we can let go of that alchemy that has always existed between our bodies, ever since that first meeting in the theatre, when they seemed to have recognised each other and then sought each other out relentlessly.

I slide my hands under his jacket, pulling it down to the floor, then he spins me around in his arms just like that night on the terrace of the hotel overlooking the Bosphorus. This time too, I feel the light touch of his fingers on the skin on my back, now joined by light kisses as, with unnerving slowness, he releases each little mother-of-pearl button. Having completed her mission, which was ecstasy and torment at the same time, I feel both her hands return to my shoulders to accompany the bodice and slide the lace sleeves of the dress down my arms as they had been that night. This time everything is different, there is no resistance from me, I let the dress slide slowly down my hips to fall softly at my feet. I close my eyes, tilting my head to the side as Can moves my hair over one shoulder, placing light kisses on my neck. He embraces me, resting his hands on my abdomen, on our baby.

In a huff I express my doubts.

'My body is changing'.

I am afraid he might not likes what the pregnancy is changing in my shape and I dare not think how much more they it have to change in the coming months.

He rests his chin on my shoulder, caressing the sweet roundness of my abdomen.
'I find every little change that is happening in you beautiful, to think that a part of me is growing inside the woman I love makes me crazy with joy and...'
He takes me by the shoulders spinning me towards himself '...and with desire...' he whispers holding me against his chest and capturing my lips with urgency. And his frenzy becomes mine too as I take the flaps of his shirt, pulling them out of his trousers, regretfully leaving his lips for a moment to slip off his shirt without even unbuttoning it because I want to feel his chest, his bare skin against mine. In a short while our breaths merge, shorter and shorter, hurried, as the last of our clothes fall off one after the other and we find ourselves on the bed, lost in the myriad of sensations of our bodies brushing against each other, of hands caressing and lips leaving moist trails of kisses.

If possible, what I am experiencing is even more intense than what I felt the first time because now I really feel him as mine and I know I am his without any more doubts or reservations. This only amplifies even more every sensation, every caress, every sigh.

Can, my albatross, my man, my husband, in every touch shows me an almost reverential delicacy and when we finally become one I hear him whisper: 'Seni çok seviyorum, I love you so much Sanem aşkım, my love'.
His words only amplify the feelings of this moment, I feel my heart might burst with emotion.

'Seni çok seviyorum, I love you so much Can, you have no idea'.