Replacement | hyunho ✓

16.

TW ⚠️ (self h*rm)

Hyunjin

After the awkward table conversation, everyone parted their ways. I didn't want to go to my room anymore because Minho was probably there.

So I decided to go to Jisu. She was in the city so I texted her.

I went to one of the bathrooms in the hotel to check myself real quick before heading outside.

I made my hair a bit better and decided I looked decent enough. I wore my coat and got out of the building.

The weather was quite cold and I could see my breath freezing in the air. I slid my hands in my pockets.

The park was just around the building. In the summer, the trees had pink leafs and it looked really beautiful but now they're pretty much bald.

I arrived at the park and spotted Jisu sitting on a bench. She was all alone and the park was basically empty.

I quickly walked to her and surprised her by closing her eyes from behind her. She let out a gasp but quickly smiled when she knew who it was.

"Babe!" She squealed.

"Hey, Ji. I really missed you these past two days." I sat next to her.

"I missed you more. I was so lonely!" She pouted.

"I know but it has been pretty busy, lately." I sighed.

"It's fine. I get to see you now." She smiled.

Before I could register anything, I felt her lips being smashed on mine. It first started with an innocent kiss but then it got a bit heated. I felt her soft lips on mine and we moved in sync. It was such a perfect kiss and I felt the same feeling I had three years ago when we first kissed.

She was my first kiss and hoped she will be my last kiss too.

After a few seconds, I pulled away. She looked so pretty, her eyes were filled with love. I admired her for another while  before she snapped me out of my trance.

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"What for?" I asked, confused.

"For what I did three years ago. I was stupid and I wasn't thinking." She spoke.

I felt a pang of hurt again. Just thinking about it made me angry and annoyed. The fact that someone else touched her was irking me.

"You were 17, people make mistakes all the time. I forgave you." I answered.

"I know but I feel guilty." She admitted.

"You shouldn't." I said. "It's been years and we should move on."

"Thank you, babe. I really love you." She said a bit quiet.

I cupped her cheek and placed a peck on her lips before pulling her to her feet.

"I want to go somewhere." I decided.

"Let's go to mine." She had a mischievous grin.

"Babe.." my face reddened a bit.

"You don't have to think like that unless you want to.." she teased.

"Jisu-"

"I'm just kidding, although I would love to.." she smirked.

"If that's your wish." I gave her a smirk back.

Now it's her turn to blush furiously. I walked her towards the car that I was supposed to share with Minho but I could care less and it's not like he would even go out.

We got in the car and drove to her house. It wasn't that far either so it only took about 10 minutes to get there.

I parked the car before her house and we both got out.

She had her keys ready and the moment we got in, she pulled my collar and smashed our lips together.

She roughly kissed me and I held her waist tightly. It began to get pretty heated. But she pulled away for a few seconds to take off her coat and I did too.

"Let's take this to my room." She panted.

We got to her room and it got heated from then. She snaked her hand under my shirt and traced circles on my back while kissing me.

I laid her a bit further down and she was flat on the bed. I wasn't that experienced since we've only done it twice a few years ago.

I kissed her jaw and went down to her collarbone and sucked a bit on it. She let out a soft moan and then pulled away to take off her top. She was left with only a red bra. It's like she was prepared.

"Babe, take off your shirt." She mumbled.

I did what she told me and she looked at me in awe. She was scanning my torso and trailed her fingers on my chest.

"Have you been working out these past few years?" She smirked.

I laughed and she pulled me back for a kiss. She left a few love marks on my neck. After we had a make out session, we got undressed and laid down under the covers.

———

Minho

It was getting darker and darker and I was getting worse and worse. I felt exhausted and I couldn't really get up from the bed.

I was so thankful that Hyunjin stayed outside or wherever he is. I guess he didn't want to see my face either.

Jisung came to my room a few hours ago and he apologised but I told him he didn't need to worry about it. It was pathetic after all.

It's my fault.

Everything's my fault.

I got up to go to the bathroom to wash my face because I was very tired.

I looked in the mirror and scanned my face. Ugh, I really hate myself. I teared my eyes away, not bearing to look at myself again.

I opened the drawer and saw a razor in the corner of my eye. I grabbed it and looked at it for a few seconds. My grasp on it tightened and it's like I was considering it.

I slammed it on the sink and internally cursed myself.

What have I become? I was mad at myself.

I grabbed the razor again and without even thinking I held it to my wrist. I had a tight grip on it that my knuckles turned white.

I was contemplating my whole life and when I looked at my wrist I saw blood rushing out of my arm and it fell to the ground. I felt disgusted by myself.

Shit. Shit!

I threw the razor in the sink and took the paper roll to clean the ground.

The blood was rushing crazy that I couldn't even stop it. It was a mess and I was cursing myself for being so stupid.

I tried to find the first aid kit and took a bandage to try and hold back the flooding blood.

I left it like that and sat on the ground. My back was against the wall and I couldn't help but cry. I didn't know I thought so low of myself that I could do such thing.