Replacement | hyunho ✓

36

Hwang Hyunjin

His soft, plump lips really were something. I've never felt this way when kissing Jisu or Sana. No, this kiss wasn't so smooth nor neat but it was perfect and it felt real. I just couldn't pull away because his touch made my heart warm and although we have kissed three times already, I still feel like this kiss is as magical as ever, if not more.

Our tongues were fighting for dominance and I knew Minho won't let me take control of him because he really was stubborn. I just liked to tease him so I kept on triggering him until he gives up.

I slowly trailed my hands towards his waist and got under his shirt. I smoothly caressed his bare back and I felt Minho whimper just lightly at my touch.

I pulled him by the waist even more and we were literally against each other. Every part of our bodies were touching and I was wondering when he will give up.

I started sucking on his lip and that's when he let out a groan. I gave him a last peck before pulling away.

He then placed his arms around my neck to stop me from moving.

At the end, I won the fight to dominate which I was very proud of since Minho never let's someone take over him.

He was panting heavily and he looked even more hot with his slightly swollen lips and flustered face with his messy hair.

That's when I took everything in. His face was perfectly sculpted and his plump like lips had always a reddish tone, now even more. His eyebrows were shaped so pretty and his nose that had a little shine on the top looked really cute. If I were to chose, then my favourite part of him were his cute little nose and his pretty eyes. Overall, he was just beautiful.

And I had no idea as to why I never acknowledged that before.

Alright, I guess I do like him in some type of way but I'm still afraid that I might hurt him. I can't do that to him. As much as I'm supposed to hate him, I can't bring myself to lead him even more on.

He pulled me from the neck closer and I closed my eyes with a sigh. I really didn't want to take this any further. I shouldn't have let this happen but my feelings got the best of me.

Before he could pull me further in, I pushed him away very gently. Letting my arms fall to my sides. His arms were still around my neck and his face looked a bit confused at my sudden action.

"Minho.. do you actually like me?" I asked.

"Wasn't that kiss enough of an answer?" He scoffed.

Right.

I didn't know what to do anymore.

"Do..you like me?" He asked as if he was afraid of the answer.

"I.. can't." I replied with a sigh.

His expression looked hurt and I felt a pang of guilt hit me because he looked disappointed as if he knew the answer all along.

"I'm sorry, Minho. I just don't want to get your hopes up and then hurt you even more." I admitted.

I took off his arms from my neck and all I saw was hurt in his eyes making me feel a bit more bad. I knew that if I kept this on even more that he will get hurt even more.

It was for the best.

"So, what?" He crossed his arms. "You still love Jisu, don't you? Then why did you kiss me back? You could've made it clear from the very start but the only thing you did was send confusing signals making me question my feelings all.the.time!"He shouted.

"I know and I'm so sorry. I just was confused myself. I didn't know what I wanted but... now I do." I sighed.

"So what you want is to go back to her and make me look like a fool? I get it." He said with a shaky voice.

His eyes were turning glossy and I couldn't spare to look at him crying. I really couldn't because that will only make me feel even more guilty.

"No. I don't want to get back to Jisu. She has hurt me and I think that's why I can't move on yet. My feelings are too attached and I can't get attached to someone else too!" I replied.

"Then why? Why did you make me feel like you actually like me? That you like my touch and like kissing me?" He asked, desperation clear in his voice.

"Because I do. I really do like your touch but I just can't give you that right now because it will hurt us both. Please understand this." I pleaded. "I know that what I'm doing right now is purely out of heartbreak and out of frustration. I don't want to regret this and make you hurt even more." I added with a sigh.

He looked.. mad. Like he wanted to strangle me right here and I couldn't exactly say that he was wrong for thinking that way. I deserved it.

"I was such a dumb idiot for even thinking that you would care about me. After all, you like to play with other's feelings, am I not right, Hwang? I should've known better." He said. "I hate you" He added before pushing past me, away from our room.

He slammed the door hard and I took a seat on the couch. My head hung low and I felt really bad.

Why can't I just be true to myself?

I obviously like him way more than I intend I do.

But this whole thing is new to me. I've never felt this way towards a guy before and Minho being one of the people I hated made me even more confused so I thought that I was just really desperate for a relationship. That's why I started going out with Sana but that only proved me further that my confusing feelings really were because I liked him.

I couldn't let that happen though.

I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. Maybe if I wake up, everything will be fine.

———

Lee Minho

I felt the tears drop on my clothes and I couldn't hold them in anymore. Jeongin and Chan were comforting me.

I felt guilty for coming in their room like this but they were the only ones I felt comfortable with with sharing my feelings. I mean Felix too but he has gone off with Changbin to god knows what and Seungmin too but he is always with Jisung lately and I will never let him see me like this.

"Minho, it's okay." Chan patted my back and I hardened my grasp on him even more. He really did give the best hugs.

The tears kept streaming down without a break. I felt pathetic for crying, I just couldn't help it.

"I-I'm so sorry for- for burdening you- I just didn't know-"

"Minho hyung, stop. You aren't burdening us. You're our best friend and we're always here to comfort you. If you're comfortable enough, mind telling what happened?" Jeongin asked while stroking my hair.

I really wanted to tell them but I couldn't. I was too embarrassed and I just didn't know where to start. Though, they do know about that kiss when he was drunk but I made them believe I genuinely didn't like him.

I don't like him though.

I love him.

And that... really scares me.

Because I refuse to get heartbroken again. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'll break just like before and this time... I'm not so sure if I can glue all the pieces back together.

I let go of Chan and wiped my tears off my cheeks.

"Not now. Can we just hug?" I asked.

"Of course, idiot." Jeongin muttered before pulling me in a tight hug while Chan rubbed my back.