E.O / W.M - ONESHOTS

What sitcom shall we watch? - w.m

A/n: left school early bc i felt sooo dizzy which wasn't great but 🤗

^^ I apologise for that emoji anyway just a comfort one shot ig

!!Not proofread!!

This is probably gonna be badly written so be prepared I guess.

TW: depression..?

Word count: 2505

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Y/N's POV:

Everyday I feel the same, even after 10 hours of sleep or more, I feel tired. If I do everything in my power to try and make myself get up and be productive or feel motivated, I just can't.

There's this feeling of nothing that just holds me back. The longer I stay in my room, dishes stacked on top of each other, my blinds concealing every peace of light, me not taking showers or brushing my teeth, everything just gets worse. But there's nothing I can do to stop it.

The amount of times I've declined outings or even just going to the shops made the team stop asking.

I wish they would still ask though. Even if I will turn their offer down. Just so I know they still want me to be there or want my company. I feel as if everyone can see me slowly drowning but none will help me.

Although that feeling often tears me apart, Natasha, Yelena, Peter, Kate, Thor and mostly my girlfriend Wanda, every now and then check up on me. Wanda mainly, but them guys do a lot. The other avengers will every once in a while, which does make me feel the tiniest better.

Along with me not wanting to go out but still wanting them to ask, I just don't want anyone to come into my room. I want to be alone. Yet with Wanda.

I don't understand how im feeling right now. Each of my feelings conflicting the other.

I wish this could be over. So I could feel happy again.

I lie in bed, one leg out of the duvet, my eyes half open as I just stare at the ceiling. I don't want to get up.

Wanda went downstairs before I was even awake so I haven't even seen her today, she's one of the reasons while im even still here to be honest.

Im so irritated and annoyed at myself. I want to be happy, for myself, but predominantly for Wanda. And the team. I want to go out and have fun with her, to go on our little dates or just sit with her downstairs as the team watches a movie.

I haven't done any of those things in weeks.

God I hate myself.

Every part of myself. I wanna cry. Though I don't even have the energy to do that.

Wanda deserves so much more than me. Everyone does. My leg bounces as I think about everything I'm doing, everything I'm causing just because I'm simply too tired.

I'm not even tired, that's the strange part. I live the same cycle everyday and I think I'm leisurely getting bored of it. I don't know why I am suddenly now, i do know that I want it to go back to how it was. A tear runs down my check, god I didn't even know I could do that. I can't do anything anymore, I barely go to training, I barely get out of bed, I haven't been downstairs in forever. If I'm hungry I'll wait till no one is there, so that they cant see me, my useless, boring self.

I wish I could go back to how everything used to be.

My body aches, my room smells of different odours, the plates that are piling up everywhere along with the cups and my body that's been in the same clothes for the past 6 days, I had a shower like 4 days ago- maybe 5 actually.