It's not me, It's you!

Dear God!!!

POV: August
I can’t say I’m on the cloud nine, I can say I’m happy that Ny accepted to this. I know I can bring anyone to this table without my other freinds permission, but they’re my friends for life, their consent is important to me.

At first I thought I was thinking about asking only Matty to our seat but by the looks on my friends face made me somewhat guilty, if it’s not for me they would’ve been together, eating now. I don’t want to be a crack on our friendship, so I had to do this.

This is not new for me, to be with my love and not able to show it off. I’ve been in this situation for as long as I can remember. But this time it’s different, Phil knows I love him and I know he don’t love me back.

I guess I can tolerate this for my friends, and with Matty here beside me, I’m sure I can.

Well, Matty… What can I say about her? Damn, I’m regretting the days I have spent without her all these years. But it’s not too late, I still have all my life, I’ll make it up to myself.

On the other hand

Have you ever felt like you don’t want anything except to be buried under the ground alive?

I’m exactly feeling it right now!

Yesterday me and Phil were best friends who can’t leave each other for a day but today I just feel like I lost him. He must regret meeting me in the first place.

It’s not my fault that my parents left me considering me as their mistake.

It’s not my fault his parents adopted me. It’s not my fault to actually fall in love with him!!!

For these two full days, I haven’t talked to him but saw him from afar, when no one noticed.

My heart leaps out at the sight of him. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days and hadn’t eaten for days and also his hand was wrapped with bandages.

What could possibly happened to make him bandage his knuckles?

Had he punched some one? Possibly not, he is not a violent person. Was it an accident?

Hell!!! This is hell!

Yesterday, I cried thinking of worst possibilities and scenarios, mostly because of the fact that I can’t be near him at this time.

Why does this world have to be so cruel,
‘I don’t know who to blame here’, ‘Its best if you just blame yourself’ I reminded myself.

After Ny accepted, I stood up from my chair and went to Phil to ask him to come to sit with us,

When I went to stand in front of his table, I saw him staring at his lunch box, which was closed. He must be thinking about something.

‘Should I just go and ask my friends to do this?’ I thought

‘No Gustie, you have to pick up what you spilled!’ my mind reminded me,

With that thought, I cleared my throat immediately gaining his attention. His eyes reminded me of a blue bay beach, but now it’s missing his sparks.

He was surprised and shocked at the same time, and there was this kind of longingness in his eyes

‘You’re imagining things Gustie’ I thought to myself

“Hi” I said after few seconds and before he could reply I added

“You can come sit with us” I said hoping that he could just accept without any questions

I saw his eyes sparkle, the spark that I missed, but I looked down

‘He doesn’t love you Gustie, face the fact’ I reminded

“Really” he asked, surprise evident in his voice

What the hell? Why he is so surprised? As a kid got his Christmas gift
I had to be bold here, I can’t break again, though I can’t move on, he doesn’t need to know that. He shouldn’t.

So, with all the courage I had, I looked at him and said,

“Yeah, you don’t have to eat alone, you can sit with us!” I said blankly, mustering up all the emotions

And went to call Matty as fast as I could and looked to avoid being in his presence.

I looked behind me to make sure he was following me. He was and also was happy. It’s been days since I saw him like that, it made my heart flutter, though I know I can’t move on, I didn’t know I can’t even pretend like I moved on.

“Shit, the effect he has on me…” I mumbled

I went to Matty’s table and asked her to come sit with us, she was so happy for an unknown reason, but at first she hesitated then I insisted, she agreed and came with me. Looking her happy, made me happy. God, I missed a girl-friend

Lets see how it goes…..

Not that everything is a going absolutely good. Actually it's the contrary!

POV: Nyle

Gustie went to call Philip, after few seconds of interrogation with them, I saw Philip walking towards our table, smiling for the first time in two days, we smiled at him

“Missed you man” Dave said, once Phil sat on his seat

“So, you didn’t miss me? It hurts babe” Max said pretend to hurt and wiped his fake tears

“Why would he miss you? You’re always sticking with him like a glue” Aiden said out of the blue

“Is that a problem?” Max asked a bit intimidating

It was obvious Aiden said it as joke, but Max being him got kind of angry.

I agree, Sometimes these guys acts like child me included, but still who can blame them? None

“wow guys, Easy there” Phil said

“Excuse him please” Dave said to both Max and Aiden

Max let it go after giving a good glare at Aiden, who just laughed nervously

“Jokes apart, we really missed you dude.” I said

“Me too guys, so much” Phil said sadly giving us all a fist bump

I was all happy until that Orange sat at our table, immediately changing my mood.

It felt like putting fire into your mouth immediately after Ice cubes.

In short,

‘Its fucking hell’

I guess God hates me so much that he wants to test my patience level, well…

'Dear God, I’m sorry! but I’m not a saint. I don’t know how long I can hold it in me!’

Except me everyone welcomed her, seems like everyone likes her. If only they know the ‘True her’

“Oh god! What the fish is happening?” I said a bit louder

Everyone’s eyes on me

'Well shit'