It's not me, It's you!

And finally

POV: Gustie

I drooped the bag to the ground on hearing the words from Matty’s mouth,

“What? What did you said? I couldn’t properly hear you, come again” I said shaking her shoulders to make her repeat her words just so I can make sure she is wrong and that I heard her wrong.

“Gust…” she stammered

“Gustie calm down, lets hear clearly” Nyle said calming me down, where he was far from calm down

“Gust, Its Philip,… Philip got.. got into an ac.. accident!” she finished looking anywhere but my eyes

I felt tears pick my eyes unwillingly, I let go of her shoulders…

“How is he?” Nyle asked her where she silently standing still

“How is he Matty? is he alright?” I repeated the question

“He is admitted in the hospital, yet to be confirmed by the doctors about his wellness” she said looking at me

“What?” I asked out loud

My baby, he is in the hospital… oh my god,

what am I gonna do now, Fuck… what should I do? I was thinking hell of things that could happen to him now, but I don’t want anything of that to happen.

I want him back, I need him back.. I need to check whether he is alright.

“Which hospital?” Nyle asked

“St.Johns” She replied,

I started walking towards the school door, Nyle and Matty following behind me,
I got into the car’s passenger seat, I let Nyle drive the car because I’m not in a normal state of mind to drive the car right now…
Philip Abraham… My everything.

Why should I meet him in the first place?

why should they have to adopt me?

Why should he have to make his goal to make me happy?

Why should he have to be kind to me? My god, why should I have to fall for him?

why should I have to go through all this pain alone, when he can sleep without feeling any of what I’ve gone through.

This is not fair,… I want him back, I want his smile back,

I want his frown back, God, take me instead of him, he deserve to live.

And I can’t afford to lose him.  And most of all, I won’t let him go anywhere without me.

‘God, let me tell you this, if you decided to take him on a long journey, I’ll be joining you guys, whether you both like it or not, I Will!!! Because, lets face the fact, there’s nothing to me in this world where I can’t see Philip.

‘But I wanted to enjoy this world with him’ I wanted him to be with me till the end, and I wanted to be with him till I die, I wanted us to be happy….

“Philip, I’m sorry if I hurted you, baby please be alright” I murmerred to my self wiping my tears, Matty took my hands in her hands to console me,

I looked behind, she was looking at me with concern,

“He’s gonna be alright” I said to her and mostly to myself

I looked at Nyle, he is on the verge of tears too, but didn’t split it yet,..

“Nyle, he is gonna be alright”, Matty told him he didn’t said anything, continued driving the car