Shameless messages and one shots

In the stars

All Ian's pov

Do you think I'm crazy? Okay nevermind don't answer I already know the answer

Fuck- anyways so around 2 years ago our well my mum past away my siblings would call me crazy or emo for missing her so much but truth was I was closest with her we went to gay bars we danced we had fun

She never met mickey you know my husband anyways man she would of loved him she did beat his dad one time wich was funny

She never took her meds she hated them but the worst part was seeing her there in the kitchen after slitting her wrists

I started to feel numb after that I never even told mickey about that day it scares me

I'm scared of myself sometimes like what if I do what Monica did

"Would you"

I don't know have I thought about it yes 100 times have I hurt myself yes a lot of times

"Why did you"

The feeling when someone wants to be free like they've been screaming for help but no one can hear them

"Ian, I think what u and ur mum had was an amazing relationship ur not crazy for missing her"

I feel like it sometimes

"That's sadness guilt"

Guilt?

"Do u feel guilty for anything"

Ye

"Tell me about it"

When I just got on meds I ran of with Monica she told me mickey would never understand this any of it he will force my meds on me

"Did he"

Oh god no

"Carry on"

When I came back I well I sorta broke up with him then he went to prison

"So u lost ur mum, find out u had bipolar, lost your boyfriend all at once"

Ye

"Do u love mickey"

100000% I love him so much

"What do u love about him"

Well I love his eyes when he wakes up then blue ocean eyes omg and his smile it's the most amazing thing in the world
I also love his humour and how he can handle anything his cuddles are okay but u know what's amazing his breakfast he makes me when I'm not feeling good

"Sounds good"
"So when you got married what was like that"

Like I found my soulmate and can finally be happy

"Do u have it mickey have any trauma your scared of coming back"

Nightmares

"Tell me about them"

Well his dad beat us up once and got a Russian whore to fuck the faggot out of him held us at gun point.. after that he got married to her I joined the army and ye I came back after a while

"I'm so sorry that happened"

It's fine it's in the past now