Lost in the Pastel Hues (Sunset Avenues #3)

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Letter

He already knows that I like him at iyon ang isang bagay na madali lamang sabihin pero mahirap panindigan at bawiin. But looking back at it now, walang pagsisisi. If the last words that I would have to say for someone would be the truth of my heart, then so be it.

And now I have realized that regret comes after you hide what you longed to come out and when you lose the time and the person who deserves to hear it.

Nakakahiya mang sabihin na ako iyong..unang umamin..hindi bilang si Jadelayza.

I told him that I like him and for me, at that time, to be able to say that to him was more than enough. Hindi na ako humihingi ng kung ano pa man.

Ang sa akin lang, nasabi ko iyon dahil sa panahon na kailangan ko nang umalis, walang kasiguraduhan na magkikita pa kaming muli. And that's something that I have learned, if we already knew at the first place that people are meant to leave, why are we still wasting time and not tell them what we truly feel?

Walang Jadelayza Villalobos na dumating sa araw ng kan'yang debut or the day before her debut.

They were all anticipating for her debut pero siya na celebrant ay wala roon. Sa halip ay ako ang naroon.

"Let's welcome our debutant, Ms. Jadelayza Villalobos!"

The celebration was only filled with a limited number of people. I still invited Jorem and some of my classmates. Kasali na sila Jigs at Beth. Pinunan lahat ng mga tauhan sa mansion ang kakulangan sa listahan. Dalawang parte lang naman iyon, ang eighteen candles at eighteen roses.

I was wearing a red ballroom dress with glam make-up. Sa kaibuturan ng puso ko ay naroon ang guilt at panghihinayang.. Habang nakatingin ako sa mga taga-roon na magaan ang ngiti sa kanilang mga labi. But the girl they were looking at..was only an impostor.

Pumailanlang ang isang kanta as I went to Senyor Anselmo, Jadelayza's father. Abot ang ngiti nito na parang hindi kami humarap noon sa kamatayan. Na parang nakikita niya ang kan'yang anak.

I closed my eyes as I felt the loud bang in my chest. I could feel it tightening in every second. Parang habang tinitignan ko siya, nasa isip ko ang dalawang mahal niya sa buhay na hindi niya kasama ngayon. It must have been so difficult not to see your loved ones..

"Palakpakan naman natin ang debutant with her first dance!" The emcee announced.

"You guide me with the dance, hija. You must have been so beautiful with your debutante gown."

Nakagat ko ang aking labi. Senyor Anselmo would give everything for his daughter. Mas lalo akong napapikit at ang bara sa lalamunan ko ay hindi na masukat.

"I could feel you sobbing, hija. Why?"

"Wala ho. Thank you po dito.."

"Enjoy the night, hija. Mingle with your new friends. Don't think about me, alright? I'll be happy as long as you are happy."

Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko but I just hugged him so tightly. It has been what? Almost four months. Iyon ang panahon na ninakaw ko sa kan'ya at sa kan'yang anak and I don't think I will be able to pay for the lies that I have created.

At kaagad na pumalit si Jigs, si Jorem na hindi nakatanggi sa udyok ng kan'yang tatay hanggang sa sunod-sunod na ang mga classmates ko at ang mga kulang na lang ay ang ibang tauhan sa mansion.

Ngunit sa tingin ko..ay may isang kulang. Dahil sa simula pa lamang ng party ay may hinahanap na iyong mga mata ko. I knew that the moment wasn't meant for me. And foolish of me to still dream for that moment with someone.