Fanboy Draco Malfoy Convinces Harry Potter to Marry Him!

Pigs in Wigs & Lava-Cedric Should Get Money When Someone Calls Him a Pervert

Draco decided he would be buying Professor Lupin a new wardrobe. He had thought about doing it for Yule last year but had ended up getting him a new cloak. He didn't want to come across as pushy. After seeing the state of the man's home, he didn't care if he thought of him as pushy. He was practically living in squalor! Draco would not stand for Harry's sort-of-Uncle going without! He had gotten his size after packing up his clothes. As they all left his flat, they crowded around outside.
"Are you guys ready to walk back?" It was a twenty minute walk and Draco thought Harry would enjoy the sunshine. As he took Harry's hand, he couldn't help glancing at Diggory. Harry seemed to think pretty boy Diggory had a crush on Cousin Tonks. He wasn't sure if that was true. The other boy had barely looked at her and she seemed upset with him as well. She was still chomping on pickles as she shot Diggory the famous Black Death Glare. Ugh, if Diggory married Cousin Tonks, he'd be family. Draco would have to deal with him for the rest of their lives. On the other hand, if Diggory did like Cousin Tonks, they could chaperone his and Harry's dates! He wouldn't have to worry about Lord Black interrupting them all the time. What a wonderful idea! He gave Harry an adoring look. Thank Merlin his darling was so observant in the matters of love. He couldn't wait to go to France with Harry. He would whisper French to him as they walked the streets of Paris. It would be so romantic, he sighed.
"Oi! Is that you, Freak?"

~~~~~~

The second Harry heard his voice, he knew it was Dudley. The blonde boy seemed to have gained twenty pounds in the year since he'd last seen him. Harry couldn't help his flinch at the "nickname" his relatives had called him.
"What did you just call him?" Draco's posh voice asked as he stepped in front of him, his body shielding him from his cousin's view.
"Yes, you ugly little brat. What did you call him?" Tonks stepped forward as well, her jar of pickles still in her hand. Dudley stared at them before he burst out laughing. "Did you manage to make friends, Freak? Once you show them how weird you really are, they'll run away as fast as they can!" The twins were holding Hermione back as Cedric did the same for Ron. That left no one to hold onto Neville as he casually stepped forward and punched Dudley in the face. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. Draco walked forward and grabbed him by the collar. "Listen closely, you insignificant little worm. If you ever look in Harry's direction again, I will destroy everything you hold dear. I will ruin your family, you will live on the streets and I will personally make sure you have nothing. Have I made myself clear?" Tonks then poured the leftover pickle juice from her jar on his cousin. Dudley took off in a run, his wails fading away. Harry heard someone breathing heavily and realized it was him.
"It's okay, cub. Listen to my breathing and try to match it, okay?" Professor Lupin helped calm him down and he could finally breathe again.
"Are you okay, my heart?" Harry leaned forward and buried his face in Draco's shoulder. "I can't believe Nev punched Dudley!" He said.
"Rule number one of HFC-if Harry is in danger or upset in any way, take out the cause of his anxiety!" Neville announced loudly. The twins had finally let go of Hermione and she was spitting mad.
"If you two ever hold me back again, I will never forgive you!" She snarled at them. They looked properly cowed as they apologized.
"We just didn't want you murdering the little snot, Herm!" Fred said and George continued "Yeah! Then you would be sent to Azkaban and then we'd have to murder someone to join you!"
"And mum would murder us so it's just way too much murder!" They said together. Harry couldn't help his laughter at the twins' nonsense.
"Diggory! If you touch me without permission again, I'll tell everyone at school you're a pervert!" Ron's waspish tone came from behind them. Cedric had his face in his hands as people around them looked on curiously.
"Weasley! Keep your voice down, please!" Cedric begged him. Tonks howled with laughter as she high-fived Ron. Harry couldn't help looking around, making sure she wasn't there.
"We should be going before Aunt Petunia shows up." Harry whispered to Draco. Draco leaned forward and kissed his forehead.
"Of course my love." He knelt down and said "get on!" Harry giggled as he hopped on his back.
"Alright club members and groupies! Let's get Professor Lupin moved in!" They all cheered and continued on their way to Grimmauld Place.

~~~~~~

Severus and Sirius walked through the front door to find a pile of shoes waiting for them. They followed the sound of laughter to the living room. Remus Lupin and a horde of children were all standing on the furniture. They watched as Ron jumped from the piano to the sofa. The room seemed to be holding their breath as he landed safely.
"Wonderful job Ron! You survive one more day!" Remus said, his face lighting up. Severus gave a cough. Everyone focused on him and Harry cried out "What are you doing? The floor is lava!" He watched his moron lunge for the ottoman and squeeze beside Draco.
"What are you doing? I was here first!" His godson yelled out. "Oh yeah? Well too bad!" Sirius retaliated by taking up more room causing Draco to slowly slide off.
"Harry my love, if I don't make it, I want you to know meeting you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. As I slip into the lava, please always keep me in your heart. Also never ever remarry. This is my final wish." Draco finally fell off the couch into the "lava".
"I could never live without you Draco! Wait for me." He then had the pleasure of witnessing Harry throw himself off the chair he was perched on. He heard sniffing and saw Ron dabbing his eyes.
"Severus! You've already lost your legs to the lava! Please get out of it!" Sirius played along, his grin contagious. "Oh no, it's already too late for me. I have to join the boys. Goodbye cruel world!" He dramatically cried out and flopped on the ground.
"Mr. Severus, that was really good!" Harry whispered to him. He gave the boy a wink and flopped around a bit more.
"I want to swim in lava!" Tonks yelled and launched herself off the cabinet she was clinging onto. Cedric managed to catch her and said "No, you don't." He saw Harry nudge Draco and hiss "see, I told you!" He decided he didn't want to know.

~~~~~~

Hermione let the twins sit next to her. She couldn't help but still be upset with their behavior earlier. She was this close to ripping out that brat's hair when they stopped her. As the Vice President of HFC, it was her duty to protect Harry. She took an oath! Sure it was written on an old napkin but she took it very seriously.
"Are you still mad, Herm?" George asked her, his face guilty. Fred had a matching expression. She didn't understand how people couldn't tell the twins apart. It was so obvious if you actually looked at them.
"I'm trying not to be. I guess I'm just frustrated at how that cockroach treated Harry. How dare he call him a freak!" She muttered to them. She didn't want to upset Harry even more with their talk. She saw George nod as Fred said "I know. How about this? We find out where they live and egg their house!" She gave them a slow grin "That sounds like a good idea!" Forget about egging their house, she was going to break their windows! She ignored the twins high-fiving and started planning.
"Guys! Remy made lemonade!" Harry shouted from the kitchen. They all ran inside to find Professor Lupin wearing an apron. Mr. Black was cackling in the background as Professor Snape marked old essays.
"Thank you Professor!" She said as she grabbed a glass.
"You don't have to call me Professor anymore, Hermione. You can call me Remus." The werewolf said kindly, causing her to blush.
"Um yes Remus." She squeaked out. She didn't have a crush on him but she couldn't help getting embarrassed around him. She always ended up thinking about her romance novels and couldn't help her cheeks flushing.
"Hermione, why are you blushing?" Mr. Black said with a wide grin. She glared at Harry's godfather before responding with "It's none of your business!"
"Do you like Remy? It's okay, dear! No one cares!" Sirius continued. She slammed her glass on the table.
"I respect Mr. Lupin but I do not wish to pursue a romantic relationship with him!" She cried out.
"I'm sure." Sirius gave her a wink. She felt her eye start twitching.
"Herm doesn't like the Professor! It's because of your werewolf romances, right?" Fred defended her.
"Yeah! We saw them in your room when we came over for the meeting." George continued on. She felt her horror show on her face as she smacked them both in the arm.
"Shut up, shut up, shut UP!" She screeched. Ron leaned over to Neville and whispered "I told them not to snoop!"