Romancing the Devil

CHAPTER 31

“Ate . . . I’m pregnant. P-Paano na ‘to?” umiiyak kong sambit habang nakayuko at hindi alam ang gagawin.

We left. I left him, for real. Parang hindi ko matanggap na iniwan ko siya. Pero magpapatuloy ang sakit kung hindi ko gagawin. My parents did something horrible ro his family, and he did the same to my family. Kaya hindi ko alam kung p’wede pa ba kaming magpatuloy o manatili sa isa’t isa. The pain is excruciating and can’t bear anymore.

Ang mga mata ni Ate na nakatingin sa akin ay puno ng lungkot, galit, at simpatya. I tried to be strong but I know to myself that I couldn’t. Hindi ako kagaya ni Ate Kiana.

“Dad is in jail now. Marami siyang kasong haharapin. Lalo pa at marami siyang napagkautangan na hindi niya pa rin nababayaran. The company is now under Callum’s name kaya wala na rin siyang habol.” imporma ni Ate Kiana. “Hindi alam ni Callum na . . . hindi ka tunay na anak nina Mommy at Daddy. I mean, wala siyang ideya na anak ka ng kapatid ni Mommy. That you’re not a De Guzman but a Reifenstuel. He doesn’t know your real identity. And if he’ll know the truth, for sure he’ll regret everything.” si Ate sa isang mahina at malamyos na boses.

At kahit gano’n, hindi pa rin napapawi ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

“I . . . will raise my child alone. Kahit hindi niya alam kung ayaw niya tayong idamay, hindi niya ‘yon gagawin. He won’t marry me for revenging. Noon, akala ko t-totoo na lahat, e. Mula sa mga pinapakita niya sa akin hanggang sa mga pagseselos niya, akala ko talaga totoo na. But he’s good at fooling people. A prodigy and notorious, indeed. He can lure someone in just a snap.”

Tiningnan ko ang aking cellphone nang makitang tumatawag si Callum. This is his 60th call this time. It’s been five hours since I left his house. Pinatay ko ang aking cellphone kasabay ng pagtanggal ng aking sim card doon. Sinira ‘yon at itinapon.

“I don’t want to be connected to you again, Callum. You’re done.” bulong ko habang nakatingin sa kawalan.

It’s been three days and I am still in a verge of pain. Patuloy ang pagsusuka ko at pagkahilo. Siguro ay medyo lumala dahil sa sobrang stressed at daming nangyari. Iba-ibang emosyon ang nararamdaman ko, naghahalo-halo na lahat ng ‘yon.

“Hailey, kain ka muna.” Tumingin ako sa pintuan at nakita roon si Ate Kiana na may dalang tray. “You’ve been silent since the last day. Hindi maganda ‘yan, lalo pa at buntis ka. You can express your emotions. Talk to me. I will listen. Always.” She brushed my hair gently.

Ibinurol si Mommy pero kahit noong unang araw ay hindi ako sumilip. Galit ako. Sa lahat ng ginawa nila. Sa lahat ng mga pinlano nila. They ruined my life. Yes, they raised me but that doesn’t mean they can control me. But I’m really such a fool. Because they used me. They controlled me. And I hate the fact that . . . I am like their employee, sunod-sunuran sa mga utos nila.

Hanggang sa nailibing si Mommy ay hindi ako pumunta o nakilibing. Mas ginusto kong magmukmok at damhin lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

Itinago nila ako. They never treated me as their own daughter. I’m just a collateral damage. Pinunan ko lang ang espasyong dapat ay si Kiana ang gumawa noong mga panahong . . . nawawala siya.

Nang mamatay ang mga magulang ko, hindi ako naging malaya sa kamay nila. I was homeschooled for years that caused me to have social anxiety. I was deprived to befriend with others. I was controlled by them my whole existence.

They turned me into a de Guzman but never treated me like one. Pinahiram lang sa akin ang apelyido, pero wala pa rin akong karapatan magreklamo at gawin ang gusto ko. Because they don’t trust me.

“We raised you, so you better follow us with what we want you to do.”

They treated me like a poppet, . . . a pet. Na p’wedeng manipulahin at utusan.