vanilla candle | jj maybank

t w e l v e

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older - sasha alex sloan
I used to shut my door while my mother screamed in the kitchen
I'd turn the music up, get high and try not to listen
To every little fight, 'cause neither one was right

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Hali ♡
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I lay on my bed as i listened to my summer playlist. My window slightly opened as i could hear the sounds of birds harmonious chirping. The afternoon sunlight flood into my room, the sky appearing colours of light yellow and orange. My candle crackled as the scent of vanilla filled my room. Everything thing was quiet, so quiet i could hear my heart's soft patters as I rest my hands on my stomach.

"You didn't give us any notice!"

I stirred in my bed a little, digging my head into my pillow as I continued to listen to my music.

"What did you want me to do?"

I suddenly sat up in my bed, my heartbeat spiking a little at the sudden noises. I placed my hands behind me to prop my body up. Maybe i was just daydreaming.

"You just showed up!"

I definitely heard it that time. I shot myself out of my bed and shuffled my feet towards the door. My heart rate definitely went up, digging my nails into my palm to calm me down. I slightly creaked open my door.

"You weren't here for her!" Mom's voice echoed the hall.

"She's still my daughter!" Dad yelled back. My heart was now pounding as I tried to stop the tears from streaming down my face, digging my nails further into my palm.

"You left her! You left us!" I flinched as I heard a door slam shut, the walls slightly shaking with it. I closed my door as I rested my head against it. I couldn't help a tear fall down my face. I quickly wiped it away as I took a few deep breaths. Mom and dad never fought, why were they all of a sudden fighting about me? 

I walked into my parents bedroom to see mom sitting on the bed, dad no where to be seen. Mom peered up at me with eyes puffy and red, indicating she'd been crying.

"Where'd dad?" I managed to get out as a thousand thoughts ran through my mind.

"He went out for a bit" Mom fakely smiled at me.

"Why?" I asked, knowing she wasn't going to tell me anyways.

"Can you take the trash out for me?" She ignored my question as her head dropped, her gaze upon her feet.

"Yeah, of course" I nod as I left the room, closing the door behind me to give mom space. My feet shuffled against the cold, wooden floorboards as I entered the kitchen. My chest felt heavy as my eyes became blurry.

Mom and dad were like the perfect couple. They never fought about anything. Sure i hadn't seen dad in a year but that's only because he was working to provide for us, well so i thought. Why was mom now acting like he was a monster for leaving us? He was trying to help us. He worked so hard to get money for us then quit his job just to be with us. He was an amazing dad. Why couldn't mom see it like i do?

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I woke the next morning to another slamming door, my eyes shooting open. I groaned at the sudden change of lighting, rubbing my eyes to adjust. I reluctantly sat up and rolled out of bed.

"Hey sweetie" Mom slightly cracked open my door, causing Nala to come running in. "Mind taking Nala for a walk?"

An unsettling feeling grew inside me. There's was something wrong but I didn't know what it was. "Alright" I simply answered as I slumped into the bathroom. I threw on a baby blue halter top with dark denim shorts. Placing my necklace around my neck and the rings around my fingers. I combed out my hair and brushed my teeth as quickly as i could while Nala sat eagerly at the door, grabbing the leash and clipping it onto her collar.

As i was about to walk out I noticed the house was awfully quiet. I scanned the room and had a feeling that something was missing, or someone. Dad.

I hesitated before swinging the door open and walking out. I didn't want my thoughts to overtake me, going on a walk to clear my mind was probably the best thing for me at the moment. I didn't know where he was or what he was doing but it was something I would deal with later.

The warm island breeze blew as I walked through the cut. The mellow sun embraced my tan body as I wrapped the leash around my hand, Nala trotting next to me. The street was narrow and quiet, just a few run down houses on opposite sides.

Why were they fighting about me? Did i do something wrong? Why haven't i seen dad in a year? Where was he? Why did he keep leaving? What were they fighting about? Is mom okay? What's going to happen? Should I be worried?

My thoughts ran wild. My breath had gotten heavier, keeping my gaze at my feet. I didn't notice I had walked over to figure eight, realising when I saw the large houses lined across the street.

I muttered under my breath when I realised i walked too far as it was only supposed to be around the block and back. I saw an approaching figure, short with blonde hair.

"Hali!" The girl called out, running up to me with a large smile across her face.

"Sarah!" I yelled as I picked up my pace and ran towards her, wrapping her in a hug when we met in the middle.

"What are you doing here?" She smiled as she placed her hands on my shoulders.

"Taking Nala for a walk" I told her. "But i walked to far"

She laughed as she walked with me, linking her arm in mine. "Wanna come over for a bit?"

I froze, thinking back to what JJ had told me. I knew Rafe would be home and i didn't want to see him over the events that occurred the other day.

"I'm sorry, i can't" I lied as I kissed my teeth.

"Aww, pleasee" She begged. "I don't have anyone to hang out with right now"

"Where's Topper?" I asked, remembering her boyfriend from the party.

"Working" She shrugged. "Plus, boys suck"

"I agree" I nod as she waited for a response to her question. "Fine" I playfully groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Yay" Sarah clapped her hands. "Come on"

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authors note ♡

if you're not scared, you should be

also sorry for the short chapter. i'm trying to write more <3