vanilla candle | jj maybank

f o u r t e e n

JJ ♡
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"Hali!" I panicked to lift her back up as her body collapsed to the floor. "Hali!" I felt my heart drop when she wasn't answering and realised she was unconscious.

"Yo, John B, help me" I panicked, grabbing her waist as he grabbed her feet. We laid her on the couch as I propped a pillow under her head. I rested my hand on her forehead, feeling how cold she was. It wasn't normal.

"Grab a blanket" I ordered John B as he hurried to retrieve one. I placed my hands on the girls face, her cheeks rosy and wet. I wiped the tears from her cheeks as they started to form in my eyes. "Hali, please"

John B hurried back with a blanket as he draped it onto her shivering body. "Hali" He tried, i could hear the panic in his voice. "Hali, wake up"

I stood as I clutched my chest, keeping my gaze on the girl who lay unconscious. I grabbed onto John B's shoulders as I pulled him back up, his hand in a fist as he lifted it to his mouth.

"She's gonna be okay" I reassured him while trying to reassure myself. "Right?"

"Yeah" John B slightly nod. "Yeah, no, she'll be okay"

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Hali ♡
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My eyes sprung open as I shot myself up. I panted to catch my breath as JJ came running over to me.

"Hey hey, it's okay, it's okay" He wrapped his arms around me as he stroked my hair. I leaned into his grasp as I felt my eyes start to stream again, placing my hands on JJ's chest. "It's okay, i'm here"

"Hali" I heard John B's voice as he sat next to me, resting his hand on my back as he stroked it to calm me down. My mind was foggy and i could feel the bags under my eyes. My cheeks stung and my throat was dry and raspy.

I tried to take deep breaths, knowing I was safe in the grasp of the two boys. My tears stopped flowing and my breathing got lighter. I lifted my head up from JJ's chest as I took hold of his hand along with John B's. The two watched me in worry as they gave each other slight looks. JJ continued to stoke my hair while drawing shapes on my thigh, John b placed his other hand on top of our hands that were already intertwined.

"Ill grab you something to eat" The brunette offered as he stood up, turning towards the kitchen. I shook my head to try to stop him.

"Hali, you need to eat" JJ told me, i could hear the worry in his voice as he grabbed my hands.

"I'm fine" I stood up to deny, my body feeling numb and weak once more. My vision went blurry as my head spun in every direction. I felt my legs collapse underneath me again as I stumbled for balance.

"Woah" JJ and John B commented in sync as they rushed to my side to catch me. I couldn't help my eyelids close the slightest, shooting them back open as I felt John B and JJ lower me back onto the couch, my arms around their shoulders.

I slumped back down onto the couch as I rested my head in my hands, giving myself a moment to breathe. I heard John B's feet shuffle around on the floorboards as he approached the kitchen, JJ's arms being wrapped around me while I stayed in my position. He rubbed my shoulders while he kissed the top of my head.

"He hates me" I whimpered, feeling the blonde's grasp tighten around me.

"Who does?" He worried, kissing my head again.

I sighed as I lifted up my head, wiping the tears off my cheeks. "My dad"

"What happened" John B asked in worry as he sat down next to me, handing me a plate with a poorly made sandwich.

"Eat" JJ told me as he nod towards the food. In all honestly, there's a more likely chance i get sick from eating that sandwich than not eating at all, but i took a bite from it anyway to make the other two happy.

John B rest a hand on my shoulder as JJ took my other hand, the two making sure I swallowed the bite. I took a sigh as I tried to calm my breathing before speaking.

"They were arguing about something, like they've been doing every day recently" I started off, taking breaths in between each sentence so i didn't start crying again. "They started talking about me and my dad was saying these things like he wished i wasn't even his daughter"

"He doesn't mean that" John B tried to comfort me. I turned to give him a small look of denial before looking back down at my feet.

"He said things like i'm a worthless piece of shit who doesn't deserve anything" I whimpered as I dug my nails into my palm to stop any tears escaping. "He said he wished they had someone else"

"Oh hali" John B sympathised as he wrapped his arms around me while I cried into his chest, my hand still in JJ's. "It's okay, it's okay" He tried to reassure me as he stroked my hair, i could feel JJ tracing small circles on my palm as he watched me break down again.

He pulled me out of John B's grasp so he could hold me himself. I sat with my legs pulled up to my chest as he placed his legs on either side of me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he placed his hand on my head. I snugged my head into the crook of his neck while sniffling to try and contain the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.

My shoulders trembled as I rested my head on his shoulder. My heart was beating uncomfortably under my ribs as my stomach churned. I struggled to swallow down the sobs that rose in my throat. I bit my bottom lip in attempt to stop myself from crying.

I felt numb and tired. My eyelids felt heavy. I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in JJ's arms. All this time I thought my dad was happy to be home, happy to see me after a full year, my emotions got the better of me.

All he wanted was another daughter, a better life, a grateful daughter. A daughter who deserved everything he provided for her. A daughter he thought was worth his own time and attention.

All I wanted was to be loved by him. For him to see that I was grateful for everything he did. That I was worth his time and attention. That I deserved everything he provided for me.

But did I deserve it?

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authors note ♡

currently crying she deserves the world.