A Game with Kismet | Suarez II

Chapter 20

It was a confession disguised as a warning but he was too naive to realize it. He just asked for a bowl of lomi and he was fine the next second.

The big dinosaur turned into a soft egg once again.

Nakatatawa minsan; kung paanong parang bata siyang umasta kapag kasama ako. Maybe we really have versions. He has three and I like them all.

Si Rad . . .  He has the hefty version, the version that gives him the strong facade to hide the lack of care he didn't get from his family.

He has the intimidating version that he uses to ease the pressure he's getting from his peers and to hide his vulnerabilities—kaya siguro hirap akong hanapan siya ng kahinaan noon. Magaling siyang magtago. Isang salubong ng kilay, talim ng titig, at galaw ng bagang. He is simply threatening.

And lastly, he has the child version; the one that seeks all the craving for care, appreciation, understanding, and validation that he didn't get as a child. Among his three sides, my heart aches for this side of him the most.

Pareho lang kami.

We didn't have a great past in different ways. Pareho kaming ninakawan ng panahon maging bata—maging masaya at malayang bata.

But this is our reality.

I want to protect him—e, 'di sana nag-apply na lang ako na maging body guard. Para at least may suweldo!

"Can you give my bag now?" Inilahad niya ang kamay sa akin nang malapit na kami sa kuwarto nila. May arm sling pa rin siya at maghihintay siya ng dalawang linggo bago alisin 'yon.

"Lumakad ka nga lang," masungit kong sabi. "Malayo pa tayo sa kuwarto niyo."

"Ammy, I am not a five-year-old kid," he said firmly.

"May sinabi ba 'ko?" Umirap ako at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Naiwan siya sandali sa likuran bago ko naramdaman ang pagsunod ng mga yapak niya.

"I should be the one doing this, not the other way around."

Pero walang silbi ang kaliwang kamay niya. Kung bakit ginawa niyang swimming pool ang lupa noong laro, siya pa ang nagbilin sa aking tantiyahin kung paano babagsak nang maayos sa lapag bago sumipa.

Nasabayan niya ako sa paglalakad. He owe it to his long legs. Hinawakan niya ang handle ng bag ko para buhatin at mawala sa balikat ko ang bigat. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Bitawan mo."

"At least let me do this. I am the one who's courting you."

"Hindi ba sinabihan ka ni coach na huwag muna magbuhat? Ang tigas din ng ulo mo." Marahas akong gumalaw para mabitawan niya ang bag ko.

His lips sported a playful smile. "You're acting like a concerned girlfriend."

Alam ko. Sinubukan ko ngang pigilan ang sarili na gawin 'to pero narito pa rin ako ngayon. Ang lampa niya kasi.

"Ginagawa ko 'to para kay Mrs. Lilibeth. Nai-stress na kasi sa pag-aalala sa 'yo. Magmamalasakit lang ako." Huminto ako sa paglalakad bago pa marating ang doorway ng kuwarto nila.

Finally, I extended my arm to give his bag back. "Oh, huwag ka mag-assume ng kung ano-ano. Para kang timang kapag ganiyan ka ngumiti."