Jaded affection / Eddie Munson

58. Feeling Hopeless

TW: intrusive thoughts- attempted sui**de- overdose VERY HEAVY CHAPTER

Wednesday

Eddie pulls my car into the parking lot at the school and finds us a praking spot.

"You ok Princess." He says turning the car off and looking at me.
"Yeah im ok, dont worry." I say and flash him a smile.
"Alright, lest go." He says grabbing his bag and getting out of the car.

I had mine as Eddie runs to my side of the car and opens the door for me then I fallow him into the school. Every since I work up today I've been in a haze and haven't been able to think straight. So many thoughts are moving around my head its driving me mad but im trying to keep it together and act normal and just get through the day. Suddenly I bump into Eddie not knowing he had stoped moving and he stumbles a bit.

"Oh im sorry Ed." I say
"Are you ok Jade? You have been acting weird all morning."
"Im ok I just didnt sleep well that's all."
Edie looks at me and im not to sure if he believes me or not.
"Do you need anything from your locker?" He asks
Oh thank god he changed the subject.
"No im good I have what I need."
"Hey guys." I hear
We both turn and see Monica and Dan walking over to us.
"Hey." I smile at them.

Monica gives me a hug then squeeze my hand. Someone must have told her and I know this is her way of letting me know without bringing it up.

"Did you guys have a nice day off?" Dan asks Eddie.
"For the most part. We went to breakfast and were harassed by Pauls dad."
"Are you serious?" Monica says.
"Yep." I say
"He's such a prick, I've had some girls tell me that he placed his hand on them like inappropriately on there thigh or lightly brushing up against them." Monica says.
"What the fuck." Eddie says
"Guess we know ware Paul gets it from." Dan says
"Its sick what hes getting away with. I hope him and his son go down together." Eddie says
We all agree.
"Well we should get to class. Will see you guys later." Monica says . Then her and Dan walk away.
"Ill walk you to your class." Eddie says taking my hand and leading me down the hallway.
"But you might be late for your first class." I say.
"Ill be fine, dont worry sweetheart." He tells me.

He continues to walk me down the hall till we reach my classroom. He gives me a kiss and says he will see me later. I head into class and take my seat. My mind still feels foggy and its hard to get my thought straight. Well today is going to be a fun day. I hope I'll be able to get something out of my classes.

"Someone looks out of it today."
I shake my head and look over seeing Paul staring at me. I roll my eyes and look away.
"Noticed you weren't in school yesterday."
"Oh good you can see then."
"My dad said he saw you and the freak at the diner."
I knew his dad would tell him. "Good for him." I say then look back to him and stare him down.
"Pretty risky to skip so close to graduation. You dont want to be held back like Munson was."
Im so not in the mood to deal with him today. "Yep." Is all I say and again I look away from him.

I can tell Paul is getting annoyed and irritated that hes not getting a reaction out of me. I lean down and pull my book out for class along with a notebook and pencil.
"You know..." Paul starts to say but hes cut off by the bell ringing.
Thank you I think to myself. Now I don't have to hear him talk.

I try my best all morning to pay attention but I feel like im on auto pilot and that everyday its the same shit at school. Nothing is changing at least not for the good. By 5th period I've stoped trying. When I have seen my friends I switch to acting happy and flashing a smile at them. Im able to talk and laugh with them but as soon as im not by them I go back to feeling empty and lost and unable to defog my brain. When the lunch bell rings I head to the cafeteria while Monica and Dan stops at there lockers first.