Miss Jackson {b.u.}

{59}

I slammed my hand on my phone, grabbing it from the nightstand beside me. I furrowed my eyebrows and turned my alarm off, looking at the time and realizing it was late. I was late to pick mom and Alex up, "shit!"

I shot up out of bed. Throwing my phone into my sweatpants pocket. I rushed around. I picked Clover up and she started whining and fussing. Crying her eyes out. Where the fuck was Brendon? I dressed her in a black leather jacket and a white t-shirt with black leggings and black converse. I put her hair into little pig tails, "no, no. Don't cry, Clo-bear. It's okay! It's okay," I began and played peek-a-boo with her, and she calmed down, "see? It's all good, love."

Clover laid on her stomach and played with her toys. I hurried over to River, picking him up. He started fussing and I took a breath, trying to calm down. I bounced him onto my him, "Daphne!"

No answer. "Daphne!"

No answer again, "fucking christ."

I walked out of the bedroom of the bus, looking around for Daphne. But she wasn't here either. The worst thoughts ran through my head. Did something happen to Daphne and Brendon? But, I stopped. If someone did something do them, they would've done it to all of us. River was still fussing, so I tossed him into the air slightly, causing him to coo. He was relaxing. I grabbed a bottle from the counter and the formula, warming it. It needed to hurry. I was already fucking late. I twisted the lid on and squirted it on my hand, making sure it was warm enough. I handed him the bottle and he grabbed it. I walked back to the room, picking Clover up and putting her on my hip. I began to walk toward the door—when I heard it click. I pulled my hand away and the door opened, revealing the blaring sunlight that warmed the cold atmosphere, "uh-uh. Get back in."

I backed up. Brendon grabbed Clover off of my hip and I glanced behind him. Seeing mom and Alex. I quickly handed River to Brendon and embraced Alex for a moment, then embraced mom. Obviously, I needed to hug her for a long time. My mom looked pale. She was sick. And that was the worst part. I know that she's sick. I walked to the back with Alex and mom. She was directing us as if there were more important things than her cancer, "sit."

Alex and I furrowed our eyebrows and sat down next to each other. Mom sat next to Alex, so I leaned forward some to see her, "this is very straight forward, girls."

I took a deep breath. This was it. She's going to tell us how long she has. "Mom. Please hurry." I uttered, glancing at her.

"I'm at stage four. It's more advanced this time around and i'm sick," she began and hacked up a lung for a second. I almost shot right up, "excuse me. Anyways, I've got a lung infection-"

"Mom! What the fuck? You shouldn't be here!"

"Joanne, enough. You can't pretend that I will magically get better. I don't have the strength to fight."

I got up and walked in front of them. I crossed my arms and shook my head. "Does dad know?"

Alex and mom looked each other, then back at me. "No."

You know. As much as I hate my dad. He deserves to know. I scoffed and pulled my phone out, walking away. Alex grabbed my shoulder and I jerked back. I turned around and she stared at me, with an eyebrow raised and her head slightly tilted. We didn't utter a word to each other. It was like a staring contest. I turned back around and walked out of the bedroom. I know how this works. Mom has this lung infection, she's not strong enough to fight it off, even with antibiotics and then there comes that random day where she's just dead. No goodbye. Nothing. It could kill her at any moment. I grabbed my purse, storming outside. I heard footsteps behind me and the door shut. I pulled my cigarettes out, smacking them on my hand. I saw the hands that always touched me in the right way grab them from my hand, "we're not smoking anymore, Joanne."