Miss Jackson {b.u.}

{96}

February 22, 2019:
Today was the twins and Mackie's first birthday. I was excited. We weren't on tour today and we headed back on the road March 1st. I hadn't seen Brendon all morning and I was taking care of everyone by myself. That was, until he walked through the basement door and shut the door. I furrowed my eyebrows and jerked my head back. I set Freddie down and he began walked toward his sisters, who were already hanging out with Bella. I followed Brendon into the living room where he plopped down on the sofa and put his baseball cap over his face, "whatre you doing?"

"Shutting my eyes, Joanne. The fuck does it look like im doing?" Brendon's muffled voice asked.

I tilted my head at him as I walked into the living room more, "we have to get everything ready."

Brendon removed the hat from his face and tossed it onto the coffee table, "cant we just do a small celebration here? Im exhausted."

I scoffed, "it's their first birthday and it's your nephews first birthday!"

Brendon got up and sat on the sofa, "Joanne. I can barely keep myself up."

I inched closer, leaning down a bit to look at him as my arms were crossed, "are you fucking kidding me? What's keeping your ass up at night? Because last time I checked—I'm the one that's up with the twins at night, not you."

Brendon rose from the sofa and raised an eyebrow at me, "look, all I wanna do is sleep for a little."

I looked off to the right and raised my eyebrow for a second and shook my head, "fuck you."

"Fuck me? Why fuck me?"

I shook my head, "you can sleep," I began and started to walk out of the living room, "i'll go to our twins first birthday."

"Fucking christ!" Brendon yelled and walked past me, "all I wanted was thirty fucking minutes of sleep before their birthday party!"

I sighed and took a deep breath. It took everything in me not to scream, "Okay. Then call me when you're almost there."

**
An hour after getting to Dad's house for Bella, Freddie and Mackie's first birthday's—Alex, Jesse and I sat down in the living room while we kept an eye on the kids. I took a sip of wine as I watched Clover and River play, Daphne, Mackie, Bella and Freddie played together as well. But—all together, Daphne was making sure everyone got along. The front door opened and sure enough, Nikki and Ronnie's kids ran into the living room and began playing with the kids after greeting us.

At this point, I was starting to get anxious. Brendon has yet to call me and has yet to even come to dad's. I had hope because I think he has changed and he loves to be apart of the kids lives. But, something recently has changed. Some days, he's normal and he's the Brendon everyone knows but maybe more high spirited at times. But some days, he was angry. He hated life, hated everyone. Those days he would yell at me or wrongfully yell at one of the kids. I couldn't put my finger on it just yet. Something is definitely off. The question is, what exactly is off?

"I meant to ask," Jesse began and cleared his throat, "is Brendon comin'? I mean, where is he?"

Alex clicked her tongue against br roof of her mouth and hit his chest slightly. He mumbled the word 'ow' underneath his breath and sighed, "is that a touchy subject right now? I'm so sorry if it is, J."

I shook my head and set my wine glass down in the coffee table, "No, not at all. He was just a little tired and needed a thirty minute nap...he's coming."

Mackie climbed up onto Alex and she began to lift him up, "you better hope he comes."

I glanced over at the kids, "oh, trust me. I know."