Real Love

Remembering It Is Too Much

My Dad deliveres another blow to my stomach.
"That's what fat girls like you get!"
He hits me again and then he leaves me on the floor.
"Get up and start working out fatty"
I start working out as Carina sleeps.
I do my regular routine; 100 squats , 40 push ups , 40 dumbbell squats and 60 sit ups.
I get back into bed exhausted and carina rolls over.
"Were you working out?"
"Maybe"
I frown.
"I have to stay in shape... it's for my job."
"Or is it for your bulimia?"
"Both"
I frown.
She knows that I'm about to start crying so she sits up and opens her arms.
I start crying and snuggle into her.
"Everything's gonna be okay"
I nod as I get up and I have a shower.
Carina joins me and kiss me as the water rains down on us.
We make out and then we get dressed.
"Would you like to have drinks with my team tonight? I could introduce you to them"
"Um okay"
"Yay"
I smile and kiss her
"Can you tell me about the names of the people who are in your team?"
"Vic."
She nods and parts my hair with her hands.
"Andy, Jack , Ben , Travis, Dixon"
She smiles
"They have great names I have to admit"
I smile
"True and I'll think you'll like them."
"Could I introduce you to the doctors at Grey Sloan"
"Of course"
"My brother worked there before he was killed."
"Oh my god I'm so sorry... how?"
"He was stabbed by someone involved in sex trafficking"
I hug her as a tear falls from her eye socket.
I wipe it and I hug her again.
"There's a lot of doctors."
I comment
"Meredith Grey, Jo Wilson-"
"I met Jo yesterday when I picked you up"
"Oh nice. April Kepner and Avery are dating."
"Ooo the drama"
I smile
"Bailey , Hunt , Amelia Shepherd, Pierce , Atman , Hayes , Link and Addison Montgomery"
"That's a lot of doctors"
I say as I brush out my hair.
I put my keys into my hand and get ready to leave
"Hey, where are you going?"
"For a run"
"Baby you've already exercised enough , you're going to collapse at some point."
"I'll be fine, love you"
"Okay I love you too. I have to go to work"
She waves goodbye as I put my headphones in and start to lightly jog.
I wake up about half and hour later and I'm on the ground and my head is hurting.
A woman is touching my head
I push her off and try to speak
"No no honey save your energy."
"I'm okay... I just tripped."
"I saw you fall. You fainted"
"No I just tripped"
I deny her claims since I can't remember what exactly happened.
"You have a nasty gash I'll take you to grey Sloan"
I frown as she puts me in the back of her car.
I feel queasy as she drives.
"It's okay we're nearly there."
"No I don't want to, I'm fine really"
"Honey it's my duty as a doctor to bring you in"
I squint my eyes and realise that it's doctor grey.
"Mer.. it's me maya"
"I know sweetie"
She takes me up in her arms
"Honey you're so light"
She takes me into the Ed in her arms and that's when Carina hatches a glimpse of me from the other side of the room.
She drops her clipboard and rushes over to me
"Oh my god Maya bambina what happened?"
She says as she rushes over to me
"I tripped"
"Maya fainted actually , I nearly ran her over. She fainted in front of my car and l luckily saw her and stopped in time"
"Did I?"
I wince as somebody shines a bright light in my head
"Thanks Mer"
"I'm gonna be sick"
I say as I gag.
Carina hurriedly pulls out the sick bowl that's shaped like a liver.
I throw up as she pats my back.
"She's definitely got a concussion."
"Maya you've been here before for something like this"
"More like a couple hundred"
Mer nods.
"Are you still taking what you used to?"
"What did she take?"
Carina demands to know
"Diet pills and laxatives"
I don't respond , I just stare forward
"Answer her honey"
"Fine, yes I am"
She looks at me disappointed
"How often?"
"The laxatives once a week but the diet pills sometimes twice a day"
"That's very unhealthy baby. We might even have to admit you to a ward"
I start to wail at the top of my lungs.
"No no please... I'll try and get better. Im not going to a ward no!"
Mer shakes her head at Carina
"She was in a ward before so I wouldn't mention it again."
I continue to cry and shake my head
"Baby hey baby listen to me love , deep breaths please"
"Maya, we need to keep you in for observation but you can go home in two days until then no purging and no pills. Our doctors are going to keep surveillance on you been when you use the bathroom to make sure that you don't purge"
That makes me cry even harder
I get moved into my own room.
Dr.Hunt comes in and he forcefully puts an IV in my arm that pushes fluid against my request.
I kick and scream as Carina holds me down.
He finally gets it inserted and starts pushing fluids
"You're girlfriends a mad one"
He whispers to Carina so she slaps him.
I'm crying and crying and talking to myself about how they're putting all these calories in my body and bloodstream.
"Sh sh baby"
She gets in beside me and strokes my head that has a bandage on it and some plastic staples
"Can I go to sleep? I'm tired"
"Sure baby, I'll be right here when you wake up"
I nod and I turn away from her.