Real Love

Attempt

I wake up and I just start crying.
I can't stop it so I get up careful not to disturb carina who's sleeping peacefully.
I want to kill myself so I decide to act on my urges.
I go into the bathroom and put a towel in my mouth to muffle the sound of my cries.
I take the blade and drag it across mr arm as I cry in pain.
Carina walks in as I'm holding the bloody blade.
"FUCKING HELL MAYA"
She says as she backs against the door.
She just stares because she's in shock and doesn't know how to react.
She holds my arm and puts pressure on it as I cry in pain.
"It.. won't stop bleeding"
I say as I get lightheaded.
"I'm takin you to the hospital baby"
"They're probably going to hold you under the mental health act."
She says as she lifts me into the car.
"No no not again please"
I cry as I shake my head
"Sh sh hold down pressure baby, we'll be there soon"
I hold the towel over my arms and sob hysterically as she drives me to the hospital
She grabs me a stretcher.
"I.. I can walk"
I attempt to stand by myself but I fail.
She picks me up and sprawls me out on the stretcher
"32 year old female,serious lacerations to her arms and wrists."
She tells the doctor.
"Page Mer now"
That's the last thing I hear before I pass out again.
I wake up in a hospital gown and my wrists are bandaged.
I begin to claw at my arms and I end up being restrained.
I scream as Dr.Hunt puts the shackles on my arms.
I panic and start hysterically crying and swearing
"I don't like it baby... fuck please stop it... get it off, fuck this"
"Stop please no take it off!"
I cry.
"My dad tied me up sometimes if i was bad and he'd leave me in the basement alone."
She unshackled me and hugs me.
"I'm sorry baby... he's an asshole."
"Who? My dad or Dr.Hunt"
"Both."
She responds as she holds me.
I laugh a little.
Mer appears in the doorway.
"Oh maya."
I don't look at her but she makes eye contact with me.
"I'm sorry"
I say as the tears flow down my face
"Sh don't apologise baby"
Carina says
"You're hurting baby"
"Yes"
I respond.
"I want to sleep now."
I say as I turn.
"Okay love you"
She kisses my face and then covers me with the duvet.