friday
Jules's apartment 😛
8:15 am
~ jules pov
last night was decent. that chris boy was really funny after all. i tried so hard not to laugh at what he was saying but it was something about him as a person that was making him so funny. he stayed for dinner and i interrogated him to test him if he's really how he seems to be. he's actually a good guy. i don't know why i just felt like he was gonna be the joey in hayley's life. i didn't want that for her so i tried to get chris away but he's not joey. i saw the way he treats hayley and it's with so much respect and the way he looks at her is crazy😕 it reminded me of how i look at jayden. like i'm in love. he might be in love with her. hayley is so soft with him it's weird seeing her like that because she's not like that around me or my mom. i was just overall happy for her. i couldn't stop smiling watching them at some moments. and to make matters worse i found out north cali's prom is tomorrow night. i already know jayden is gonna beg me to go. but i've gotta be back in san diego saturday night. i'm going to work today again with eddie. we've got a meeting first then a radio podcast to feature on i think after we get to see the another heartbreak music video they finished editing. i'm excited for that😂.
i'm at the counter reading texts from everyone i've been ignoring basically. mom, dad, besties, sd friends... jayden. it's something i do when i can't think straight or i'm down. i'm not in the best mood today. it's my last full day in la.
i look at my bowl of oatmeal and hayley came out her room into the kitchen. i look at her and she's looking at me in concern, "what's wrong? why do you look sad today?" hayley asks
i lost eye contact, "is this about you getting kicked out of north cali?" hayley asks
"..do you think i'm a disappointment?" i ask softly
"what? no. you're so amazing. you have talent and you are smart when you want to be...why are you asking?" hayley says
i shake my head, "did mom say something to you again?" she asks
i could feel the pain in my throat coming back so i play with my spoon before sighing, "so it's your final soccer game at this school. are you excited? i'm coming out tonight with my best friends. they're saying overnight and we're all going back to sd tomorrow." i change the topic.
hayley looks at me in worry, "yes i'm excited but i can't be if i know my sister isn't ok.." she says
fuck hayley she's about to make me cry😔. i look at her, "can we not cry this morning please?" i ask
hayley nods a bit. i get down and take the bowl to the sink, "you didn't even touch the food" she says
"i'm not hungry anymore" i say softly
"you have to eat today jules i'm serious" she says
i got a flashback of hearing my dad say that to me so many times in the past. i felt almost sick thinking of the past, "i'll have water. get ready." i say
i go to my room and go into my bathroom. i go under my cabinets and grab my vape pen i had quit from. but i really need it today. i can't stand feeling sober any longer.
NCHS 🦁
8:40 am
~ jules pov
so i'm high. as fuck. like i'm faded. i almost crashed into a mailbox on the way off the street to get here😂. hayley screamed at me and i could not stop laughing. i got here safely though and i just parked. hayley turns my music down the second she took off her seatbelt and i look over at her. because she's staring so damn hard i can feel her eyes burning into my skin.
