Craving Oblivion (New York Billionaires Book 3)

54| Start

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Start

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Chapter 54: Start (Logan's POV)

Zarah's eyes followed my movements as I dried off my hands by the kitchen sink and then picked up the first aid kit, going back to where she was sitting on the kitchen island. We got home barely five minutes ago and the priority was to tend to her wounds and take care of her immediately. She was still extremely shaken up and had fallen awfully quiet. 

I hated it. I hated seeing her in pain and knowing that it was because of me. It was all because of me. 

It's all my fault. 

I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eyes, knowing that I was the reason she was hurt so badly, but I could feel her gaze on me as I set the kit on the counter beside her and hitched up the sleeves of my shirt, blinking the tears back in my eyes as they blurred my vision. "Take your blazer off," I said, clearing my throat and hoping she didn't hear it break. 

"Logan," she replied softly. 

"Here, I'll help." I stood up and assisted her, carefully lifting it off her arm as she winced and then sliding it down, dropping it onto the floor. 

I can't even look at her, goddamn it. 

Grabbing some cotton and alcohol, I began cleaning around her wounds as my heart continued to pound. I just wanted to hold her when I saw her in that chair and even now. I wanted to hold her and tell her it would be okay. 

"This will sting, I'm sorry," I whispered and she instinctively took my free hand in hers, squeezing tightly as she winced and whimpered in pain until I finished up and wrapped up her arm, securing the gash behind a bandage. We were very lucky they weren't too deep and didn't require stitches. 

I was still avoiding her gaze as I told her, "You should change out of these clothes and get some rest. I'll come to your room and..." I cut myself short and took in a shaky breath, bracing my hands on the countertop beside her as I took a few deep breaths. 

"And?" she whispered before sniffling and wiping her cheeks with her other hand. When she heard me sniffle too, she tipped my chin up hesitantly, our eyes meeting. 

"I'm sorry," I said softly. 

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked. "This isn't your fault. Logan..." 

I tugged her hand down and kept it tightly clutched in mine as I dropped my head into her lap when that first cry tore through me. 

"Logan," she whispered, her free hand running through my hair before she came closer and rubbed my back a few times. 

I almost lost her. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't get there on time. I don't know how I would have lived... The tears running down my face were uncontrollable and I felt my shoulders shake under her touch as I cried for a long time until eventually, her hushes and soft caresses finally calmed me down. 

With a few deep breaths, I composed myself and kept my forehead above her knee, lifting it to place a kiss on her skin before I met her gaze. "I'm so sorry," I said one more time.