Dear Bodyguard | jenlisa

Chapter 38

LISA

"It's not like everything always has to do with you. In this case it was the same. The people who came in here were my own fault. I kind of turned them on me."

"How?" I asked her interestingly, leaning back on the table.

"It is very complicated. Let's say, I took something away from them which was important. But that was many years ago. Basically, I could have ended them, but I was busy worrying about you. Because you were just gone. I was afraid that your father's enemies had kidnapped you. Then they stormed in and, of course, intercepted me at a bad moment. I was completely off track and couldn't think properly."

"What's the point, Jennie... Then why were you so averse? That really hurt me."

"I didn't want to hurt you and it never should have happened. I'm sorry about that-"

"Just don't say it," I interrupted her with a tug in my heart. I was a mistake for her...

"No, Lisa, you don't understand. It's happened now. There's nothing we can do about it anymore. It was just sex."

In anger and pain, I hit the table, making Jennie flinch.

"No, Jennie. It wasn't just sex! Maybe for you but before we slept together I was a damn virgin! I didn't have a single person before you and then you came. Not only did you constantly say that I was a slut, no. You ruined my first time!" Jennie looked at me with wide eyes.

"You- I took your virginity?"

"Of course! But hey, it was just sex!"

Sighing, I got up from the chair. I didn't feel like eating at all and basically I didn't want to do anything anymore. Nothing at all anymore.

Without looking at her again, I left the kitchen and walked up the stairs. Now I had said it. What has been bothering me since last night...

When I got to my room, I lay down heavily on the bed. I was tired and just exhausted from my nerves, so I snuggled up under the blanket and slowly fell into a little sleep

JENNIE

I stared after Lisa in shock. Was she just being serious? Was she really a virgin?

Actually, I would have expected the complete opposite. Lisa was pretty, funny, intelligent, stubborn and also brave. Who wouldn't want her? Either the guys were blind or she never wanted anything from them.

A bad conscience began to appear. Of course it wasn't just sex for me either. It was even more. I may have been a little drunk, but I'm never incapable of controlling myself the way I thought Lisa did. If I had known all this then I would never have slept with her. Not because I didn't want her, but because I wanted her to have a nice first time. Something she can remember and be happy about.

Lisa had become far too important to me and having sex with her only made everything more complicated and solid. When I thought back to how she had moved under me, I felt so damn hot... I was just pathetic.

First I tell her that it was just sex and hurt her and now I imagine her under me again and don't find the feeling repellent at all.

I pulled my hair out in frustration. She had been cleaning here all night, taking care of me and I had treated her badly again.

I didn't want to experience it again. I didn't want to make the same mistake again. Not like with Bella. Lisa and Bella were incredibly different people.

Bella was caring, sweet, kind and a true angel, while Lisa was the opposite and yet I was incredibly taken with her.

Ever since I saw her in the kitchen and she called me, she triggered something strange. She just wasn't like the other girls I had before. She may not have been like Bella, because Bella was everything to me and no one would ever come close to her, but Lisa still managed pretty well.

I decided to apologize. She deserved this and I wanted to finally tell her the truth. I didn't care what mistakes I would make again. I didn't want to hurt her anymore.

I slowly gathered my thoughts and went up the stairs. My wound always hurt, but I didn't really care. As I walked up the stairs, they seemed so long, which was probably more due to the pain than reality.

When I got to the top I debated whether I should knock or just walk in. However, I chose the former. It could be that she's changing clothes, although that wouldn't even bother me.

I slowly started to knock gently but there was no answer, so I repeated the process. Nothing.

I exhaled briefly before grabbing the door handle and pushing it down. As I stood in the room, I looked around and saw Lisa lying on the bed. Apparently she seemed to be sleeping.

I silently walked towards her bed and sat on the edge of the bed, just like she had done to me at night.

"Lisa." I whispered. She slowly opened her eyes.

"Jennie?" Confused that I was sitting next to her so suddenly, she sat up.

"We need to talk." I said slowly. However, she just rolled her eyes.

"If you hurt me again-" But I interrupted her.

"Lalisa... I know I messed up... I'm just trying to tell you that I like you, maybe more than I actually thought."

Silence.