Ignition (MHAH)

51 (R)

(TW)

Everyone rushed out of the car after me, checking to make sure I was okay, but every time I tried to calm down, the memory would just flash back and I'd puke once again.

"Have some water." Ali coaxed, handing me a bottle. When the bile stopped rushing up from my stomach, I slowly take a sip. Even while hyperventilating and sobbing, they all stayed close with worry plastered on their faces.

"I know you're experiencing some rough shit right now, but is it possible to get back in the car? We're like half an hour away fro-" Teddy asks, setting his hand on my shoulder.

"D-DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I scream, shoving him as I back away from the car. "I-I can't- i can't do this! I-I don't -I don't wanna go back! I-I don't wanna do t-this!" I sob, wrapping my arms around myself as I back towards the ditch to sit down and curl into myself. I could see Nigel on the phone while ali tried to hide the tears falling down her face as she watched me unravel. She knew what I was feeling better than anyone else, but she refused to let anyone see it. As time rolled by, I stayed sitting on the side of the road, hyperventilating and sobbing, all three of them keeping a close eye on me.

"I- I can't do this a-anymore.." I mutter as I collect myself with a deep breath, standing up and walking towards the road. It's as if time slowed down, all three of them screaming no, Nigel's arm wrapping around me just in time to pull me back.

"Let me go!" I scream, thrashing around. "L-let me go! I can't- I can't do this anymore! I-I don't want to! Let me go!" My screams slowly turned back into broken sobs, my thrashing turning into defeated squirms.

"T-too bad!" Ali shouts. "Do you- do you remember what you told me?! You said that I- that I needed to make it out alive! T-that I can't leave our family behind! So you don't get to either, Levi!"

"I don't care! It doesn't matter anymore! You got out! You survived! That's what mattered! Just let me go!" I shout, fighting against Nigel. For someone who seemed so lanky, he certainly didn't lack muscle. As a car came flying down the highway, I fought harder, but when it made a u-turn and parked behind us and the van, all I could do was sob harder.

"J-just let me die!" I shout, sobbing harder between ragged breaths.

"What the fuck?!" Justin shouts, his door opening after my statement. Ethan was right behind him, both storming over to see why Nigel was restraining me.

"Take your hands off of him!" Ethan demands.

"No." Nigel responds, holding me tighter as I thrash around more.

"It wasn't a question! Take your fucking hands off of him!" The raven shouts, his pace quickening.

"He just tried to jump in front of a fucking car! I'm not letting go of him!" Both their faces; Justin's and Ethan's shatter with heartbeat within a second, rushing over faster. With tears and snot flooding down my face, I couldn't do much else than stand there defeated as the two of the finally stood in front of me.

Justin was the first to make a move, grabbing ahold of me and pulling me into his embrace, holding me as tight as he could while I stood there like a four year old bawling my eyes out after I lost my balloon.

"J-just let me go.." I whimper, not putting much resistance up against Justin.

"Never."

"Just- head back to the mansion.." Ethan tells them, the van starting up a few minutes later. When it finally drives off, Ethan speaks up. 

"Bug..?" He didn't sound how he was just a few moments ago. He was scared; he was hurting, but not for himself, for me. "Bug, please look at me." He pleas, his hand brushing my arm. I slowly turn around, hiccupping as my tears continue, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Why?" Is all he asks.

"I-it hurts.." I respond, choking on my own words. "I-I don't want- I don't wanna do it anymore.. I-I don't want the memories o-or the traumas.. I-I h-hate f-feel-" I cut myself off, and take a deep breath, slowly looking into his eyes with a weak smile.

"I just can't do it anymore." I watched as a tear slipped from his eye, his arms latching around me seconds later.

"Please.. please don't leave us again.. we just got you back." He whispers, hugging me as if this would be his last chance. We stood on the road for a bit longer before Ethan finally picked me up and began walking back to the car. He sat in the back with me, cradling my shaking body in his arms while Justin drove back to whatever manor we'd be hiding out at this time.

When my tears had finally dried and my breathing had steadied, my head resting tiredly on his shoulder, Ethan spoke up, slowly bringing his hand to my face to brush a stand of hair behind my ear.

"Love?" I croak out a hum, looking up to him. "I want to let you know this ahead of time so you don't worry, but, do you remember your crate at the old house?" I nod, confused.

"Well, the day you went out shopping, bubba and I set up a new one for you.. we remembered that you liked it and found comfort in it, so we figured a new one was due.." he tells me, choosing his words carefully.

"Kay.." I mumbled.

"You're not expected to use it; obviously, but it's there if you'd like, okay? It's completely understandable if you don't want anything to do with it after everything." Justin chimes in, earning a nod as I bite my lip. I hated how cautious they were acting, but I didn't blame them; I couldn't.