Holding My Breath [Wattys 2016]

8 ~ R u s t y

                 

Present Day ~ May 8, 2011

Endless heat. Wavering sunlight. Hordes of people. I have to tug my baseball cap further down over my face to block it all out. To break away from everything going on around me for only one moment.

But then I'm back, back to reality, and I keep walking down the street like any other day. My black biker boots clink along the paved street, a sound I've gotten used to since I escaped home. The breeze blows my curls out of my face. It should be a good day. It feels like it might be a good day, in a remotely normal world.

Instead, the light is too bright for the little amount of sleep I've gotten. The heat makes my hair cling to my face and my t-shirt glue to my back. The people of the town present one threat after another and I can't help dreading the day when one of them recognizes me. As I walk down the street towards the other end of town, I notice them watching me out of the corner of my eye.

I'm the stranger. I'm the big question mark in the yellow pages.

Nobody stops to watch me or whispers as I walk by. Nobody tries to talk to me. But they watch. By now it's known that I'm not a tourist.

I reach back into my pocket, taking a moment to run the theater ticket between my fingers. To make sure it's still there, along with the note. The letter, of sorts.

In the last few days, I've kept an eye on the theater. I can't just go straight for it, not since it's closed and boarded up. I can't lead on that the theater is the reason I came to Wallen. The people might find it suspicious. But it's been a while since I got here... maybe it's time.

My feet stutter to a halt before my mind catches up. On the other side of the road, outside Archie's, a car comes to a slow stop. A car with a red and blue light on top, waiting to flash at the first sign of danger. A car with Wallen Police Department painted on the side in bold letters.

They've found me.

Again. I was careful. How did they find me?

Just before my world crashes at my feet, I find myself stumbling towards the woods. Now the sound of my heels brings my heart into my throat.

Cops.

I stop myself and try to act normal, force myself to keep walking like I didn't even see the car. Like nothing is wrong.

I walk as carefully as I can, as casual as possible. When a small group of older ladies shuffles by in front of me, I duck behind one of the buildings and back into the trees.

The woods. Those are the nightmare to me. But the cops... that's a risk I can't take right now.

Inside the cover of the trees, I squeeze my eyes shut. I don't know what comes over me then. My duffle slides off my shoulder and lands with a thump in the wet dirt. It takes me a second to set my guitar case on the ground before I slump against an oak tree and take a few deep breaths. I try not to think about the trees standing tall around me, or the leaves that reach out to grab me. Like they've done before.

I sit up against one of the thicker trunks and let my mind catch up... I had to act fast, but what am I going to do now? These woods lead to the highway... Maybe I could go somewhere else for a day or two?

I don't hear any yells. I don't hear any sirens. I don't hear his laugh. This isn't the same as last time... it can't be. If it was, I wouldn't be sitting here, hiding in the darkness of the woods.

Pulling myself to my feet, I blink a few times before stepping out around a bush that stands as tall as me. I have to snap out of it. Flashing back to my old life... That's what's going to get me killed. The branches scratch at my arms when I try to get a glimpse of the street. If I can just peek out into the town...