Holding My Breath [Wattys 2016]

7 ~ A n n a

                

Flashback ~ December 29, 2010

The day my life changes is the day I leave the house.

Honestly, I can't stay in that house with my family for that long. It's been too much. With the money slowly drying up and the snow outside quietly sprinkling down. It is more than I can take, staying within the shrinking walls and constantly having to tell Toby that he can't do things he wants to do because the cable was cut off, or that we need to spare the food. Not only are we slowly going broke, we are also snowed in from the roads.

I step out onto the porch, winter ablaze around me. Everything is white, and I mean everything. The trees, the grass, the house. There is no more trace of what used to be, and instead, it all covers itself in a mushy white slush. On the ground, the wet snow packs up to the top of my black boots, so I have to march through to get to the road.

Of course, as soon as I get to the road, I slip and land on the ice.

The world around me doesn't notice. It's probably because nobody is around, but me landing on my ass on the blacktop doesn't even disrupt the quiet vacancy of cars. Usually, I hear the cars zooming past my window at night, back and forth. Back and forth.

They don't stop to rest during the day, either. The machines never stop sprinting between pit stops, never stop to slow down or cease their havoc.

But now? Silence.

I try to get up and then fall again.

Thank god I'm the only one out here.