Holding My Breath [Wattys 2016]

4 5 ~ R u s t y

                 

Present Day ~ July 10, 2011

"Anna?" Charlie asks me, a flash of rage and fear running through her fine features. The last time I saw her, that was the day...

The day my family was killed.

I take a step back, looking around to see if anyone is with her, to see if anyone from my group is around to hear. She shakes her head at me, tears welling in her eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?" It comes out as a knife stabbing me in the chest.

"Charlie, I— I don't..." I don't know what to say. This was the girl who I shared all of my secrets with. This girl used to know me more than anyone else ever had.

I can't breathe. I can't see.

My worlds are crashing together.

"How do you even have the nerve to show your face after what you've done?" she asks, yelling now. Not just yelling... screaming. Walking quickly towards me. "You better be glad I'm not calling the police right now!"

I see Blue looking around for me from across the crowd and I don't move. I'm frozen. "Why don't you?" I ask.

"You'd better run and hope to god I never see you again." The memory of Charlie yelling this to me is burned into my brain.

"Why do you think I won't?" She says, pulling out her phone.

I get my legs to work and I start to move. I'm backing away slowly at first. She brings the phone to her ear and I can hear everything. I can hear her words over everything else burning up around me.

I turn to run, not realizing that I'm crying until I feel the tears running from my eyes. I'm not shaking because I'm scared, or because I'm desperate. I don't even know why, exactly... I can't even breathe. I feel like I'm falling backward. I try as best I can to push past the mass of people, but a hand catches my arm.

I look up to see Blue, his face laced with worry and I try to pull away from him. "Rusty, wait up," he says. He glances back at Charlie, then back at me. I see the confusion in his eyes which only makes it worse.

My head starts to pound, nausea washing through me. I can't say anything... I can't face him right now. I just... I can't be here. The cops are probably already on their way.

I jerk out of his grasp and run. I hear Charlie screaming at the people to stop me, not to let me get away.

Cops. My feet speed up until all I can feel is my shoes pounding on the ground, my heart leaping through my throat. This is it.

This is where my story ends. I'm the criminal and now I'm going to get caught.

I feel people trying to grab at me, to stop me. I feel my arms scraping past carts and hear the curses of people I bump into. It all blurs into in the music.

I hear them running after me as I search aimlessly from lot to lot, trying to find the truck or even just a decent place to hide.

I think people are starting to recognize me. My cap has fallen off somewhere along the way, and people are pointing. At this point, I'm just trying to stay out of reach of anyone who is coming at me.

I trip and fall into the dirt, scraping my palms.

Scrambling to my feet, I move away from the shouts of the fair and further into the parking lot.

A pair of hands grab my shoulders and I kick backward, screaming at them to let me go.

It's Caesar, isn't it? He's found me. He's come to kill me.

Please. Please don't kill me.

"Rusty," I hear him whisper as he covers my mouth with his hand. "Be quiet. They'll hear you."

I can't see him though the tears in my eyes, but I stop yelling when I hear Blue's voice.

I try to stay completely still, even though everything inside me wants to run. I can hear them, searching through the crowds and yelling at people to get aside.

Blue and I crouch in the darkness for a couple more minutes, waiting out the search. Then he grabs my hand and pulls me behind him towards where he parked his truck. I can't imagine what will happen if one of those flashlights find their way to us.

"C'mon," he whispers. "Let's get out of here."