Holding My Breath [Wattys 2016]

6 6 ~ A n n a

                 

Flashback ~ December 30, 2010

Demon.

The word would normally bring me images of fire and brimstone, the color red.

But that's not what a demon is. They aren't like monsters. They don't hide under beds and they don't try to scare you. In fact, they don't try to hide at all. Because that's not what they want. They want to be noticed. They want to control you. And they want power over everything inside you that is good.

And we aren't talking about heaven and hell here. We're talking about real demons. The kind that is inside every one of us. The ones we never pay attention to it until it's too late. I keep saying that there is a monster inside of me. And that's true, there is. But it's my demon. My demon knows that the way to control me is to scare me into giving up. My demon has become a monster.

And demons aren't red. They're green. They are plants, living and thriving and the base of every food chain. They breathe. They eat. They live and breathe and eat us.

But there is some good in people too. I don't know what to call that, but I think that it's stronger than the demons.

My demon is the problem. It's taking over who I am, and I don't know how to stop it.

Demons destroy.

I destroy.