the unwanted roommate - minsung

3.9

for the past few weeks, minho and jisung had been growing closer than ever.

the younger was especially grateful that he could be so vulnerable with the older, especially with minho being the first person he ever truly opened up to.

however, minho was beginning to think he hadn't returned the favour.

although he allowed jisung to see his vulnerable side when having to experience a storm, there was one thing minho was yet to open up about.

minho was brought of of his thoughts as he felt a light tap on his chest.

"minnn," jisung whined. "i've been calling you for ages!"

currently, the pair were cuddled up on the living room couch after just having dinner together.

they'd been watching an interesting netflix series only for minho to have completely zoned out during the current episode.

"oh sorry," minho laughed as he smoothed back jisung's hair. "what's up?"

"well i was just about to press next episode but it turns out that was the last one of the series." jisung gestured to the tv that showed other suggestions for them to watch. "so i was going to ask what you wanted to watch next."

instantly, minho felt his heart jump.

he had decided that the time to fully open up to jisung, was now.

"a-actually," minho took a moment to swallow a small lump in his throat, waiting for jisung to swivel round to face him. "i was wondering if i could...maybe tell you a little bit about my family?"

jisung's eyebrows raised as he held a small smile.

at the beginning of their meeting as unwanted roommates, jisung had almost immediately gained a sense of the type of person minho was.

though now, as the pair had grown from hatred to love, jisung knew there was more to his boyfriend than what met the eye.

"of course." jisung nodded, getting himself comfy as he brought a pillow to his body, resting his chubby cheeks on his fists as he stared up at minho with gleaming eyes.

as he couldn't resist, minho leant forward to place a soft peck on jisung's lips, slowly pulling back and taking a deep breath before speaking.

"so, firstly my parents were not very open minded people when it came to talking about emotions. in fact, they looked down on people who openly expressed their feelings, telling me that i should never show vulnerability as it'll end up being used against me."

feeling his heart speed up ever so slightly, minho paused for a second to compose himself before continuing.

"at home, i wasn't allowed to cry, and communicating how i felt if something upset me was almost always out of the question. when i came out as gay, my father sat me down a few hours after and told me it doesn't change a thing of how i should act. i am to be a tough man, work hard, and think of myself as higher than others because that's how i gain respect."

minho shyly met jisung's eyes as he sighed.

"...that's why i was so uptight when we met."

he took jisung's hands in his own as he looked over his boyfriend's soft features.

"i was scared, jisung." he admitted, his fingers tracing jisung's knuckles. "i found myself wanting to open up to you. seeing you cry in front of me made me feel as though it was okay to be vulnerable...i-it completely contradicted everything i was ever told."

noticing the glossy shine on minho's eyes, jisung lifted a hand to the older's cheek, cupping it lightly as he nodded in assurance for him to continue.

"i was so alone at home. i used to cry myself to sleep when i was younger thinking i'd done something wrong. but, in reality, my parents thought i was too old to be comforted. t-that i was supposed to fix everything myself otherwise i'd grow too dependant on people. my mother would leave the city for work and refuse to say when she'd return, leaving me feeling alone in a house that was filled with people..."

his eyes flicked up to jisung's as he drew a shaky breath.

"they didn't show me what love was like, jisung. i-i was isolated and was just left to feel so so empty. i thought that if i wasn't doing work, and trying to get where my parents made me believe i should be, i was nothing."

jisung shook his head as he wiped a tear from minho's cheek, gently retracting his hands as they rested in his lap.

"when i started to fall in love with you, i was so terrified." minho sighed, biting his lip slightly as he let his gaze fall to his lap. "so scared to become dependent on you almost as much as you possibly falling dependant on me...i didn't know how to love someone or how to show someone that i need them. isolating myself had been my normality for so many years,"

after taking a deep sigh, minho looked up to jisung. feeling a smile grace his lips at the sight.

"and then you taught me how to love." he smiled, it growing wider at the shy expression on jisung's face. "not just how to feel appreciated, and as though i actually mean something to someone, but to show you that you mean something to me, how to be open and trusting that i can face my biggest fear with you by my side."

carefully, as though jisung could break at his touch, minho placed his hands on jisung's cheeks.

"i will never be able to tell you how much you mean to me." he spoke softly, finally feeling so comfortable in another person's presence. "but i will try, for as long as you let me, to show you i want to be with you. you've made me want to become a better person and i sincerely hope you continue to be patient with me...i mean, learning how to trust and love is actually really hard."

the pair both chuckled at the attempt to lightly lessen the heaviness of minho's words.

"but, as long as you know i love you, and that i feel safe enough to express my feelings to you," minho leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on jisung's lips before pulling away and sighing with a smile. "i think we'll be okay."

"i think so too." jisung nodded, bringing minho's hands from his face to intertwine their fingers. "and you're not nothing, minho. you're now everything i could ask for and more."

jisung carefully positioned himself on top of minho, the older lying down so jisung could rest comfortably on his chest.

"i'm so glad you feel safe enough to be open with me." jisung sighed in content, feeling his body slowly relax as he spoke. "i think you're braver than you know, minho. we're finally realising that our parents can't control us anymore..."

the younger took a light pause as a smile graced his lips. "...you and i can now be free."

minho matched jisung's smile, staring up at the ceiling as he let jisung's words sink in.

"free." he repeated quietly, "i think that's something i was never able to feel at home."

jisung let out a soft hum as he lifted his hand to minho's chest.

"honestly, minho, i don't think it matters what our home lives are like," he spoke, drawing shapes into minho's chest as he listened to his boyfriend's calming heartbeat.

"no?" minho asked, bringing a hand into jisung's hair as he carded the strands through his fingers.

"no," jisung repeated as he smiled to himself. "now, home can be just you and me."

******
a little backstory into minho's childhood now we're nearly at the end of this book, how we feeling ?
21.1.23