✮ Tmf incorrect quotes ✮

Incorrect quote 19

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Drew: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

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Zander: I am going to need you to swear-
Luke: Fuck.
Zander:
Zander: ...swear as in promise.

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Seán, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.

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Zander: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

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Zander: ARE YOU-
Luke: Fucking.
Zander: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Luke: Fucking.
Zander: IDIOT!
Milly: ...What was that?
Luke: Hailey banned Zander from swearing, so I'm helping him out.

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Hailey: What is love?
Milly: An emotional minefield.
Zander: A neurochemical reaction.
Jake: Baby don't hurt me.

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Computer: Please enter a password.
Luke: *types in Zander*
Computer: Your password is too weak.
Luke: How fucking DARE YOU-

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Hailey: How do Milly and Jake usually get out of these messes?
Zander: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

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Drew: I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Drew: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

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Henry: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking 'are we about to kiss?'
Henry: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

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Milly: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!
Milly, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

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Zander: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its "intelligent" and "really cool".
Zander: But when I do it, I'm "petty" and "need to let it go".

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Jake: You think you're smarter than everyone else.
Zander: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

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Luke: Hey Jake, listen, corporate makes us do this every year, but this is just a little manager evaluation form. You just fill it out, let them know how I'm doing, you know?
Jake: Alright! Uh, "Is your manager manipulative?"
Drew: I'd say "No" to that if I were you.

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Luke: How would you like your coffee?
Zander: As dark as my soul.
Luke: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

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Luke: What are you writing?
Zander: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.
Hailey, looking over Zander's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

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Jake: How petty can you get?
Drew: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

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Luke: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
Hailey: What the hell do you do?
Luke: I die? What kinda question...

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Zander: Jake, I don't like you.
Jake: What did you say?
Zander: You heard me!
Jake, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

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Zander: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You're the faster one.
Luke: Erm... it's nice see your smile when you win!
*later*
Zander: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they.
Jake: Yeah, probably.

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*The music club's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Luke: I will not let you down.
Jake: Sounds fun.
Seán: K.
Zander: No, I'm fucking not.
Milly: Do I have to be?
Hailey: Please god, I am so tired.

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Zander: I want a bf.
Luke: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you're being really vague here.

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Jake: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to their chest*
Hailey: We have heart?
Jake: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

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Jake: Hey Zander, can you give me the opposite of these words?
Jake: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
Zander: Never, Going, To, Give, You-
Zander: The fucking satisfaction.

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Luke: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Zander: For the dogs.
Luke: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
Zander: They don't know how.

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Jake: You need to be more careful!
Zander, who was dragged into Jake's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

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Jake: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your dad.
Zander: Mmm, we aren't really that close.
Jake: Oh, good.

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*Zander and Milly are planning to break in somewhere*
Zander: We need to distract the guards.
Milly: Right.
Zander: What are we gonna do?
Milly: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Zander:
Milly:
Zander: Deal.

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