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Lia: Whatever happened to the concept of less is more?
Zoey: But if less is more, then just think of how much more 'more' will be!
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Jake: I like your top, Zander!
Luke: I have a name, you know.
Zander: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.
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Hailey: Stressed.
Zander: Depressed.
Sadie: Possessed.
Luke: Obsessed.
Seán: Impressed.
Milly: Chicken breast.
Everyone: ...What?
Milly: I just wanted to join in.
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Zander: Firstly, how dare you use mathematics to make me look stupid!
Zander: I'm actually very good at mathematics.
Zander: Thirdly, I think you might be right.
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Jake: Why are you guys acting like this?
Henry: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.
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Micheal: I hate to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.
Zander & Hailey:
Zander: Only one...?
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Milly: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.
Zander: Thank you for your sacrifice, Henry.
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Jake: Thanks for not telling Daisy what happened.
Seán, dumbfounded: I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to explain this.
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Drew: Whether or not I pay income taxes is none of the government's business.
Luke: No, well, actually, it is.
Drew: You don't know my name or what I look like, good luck finding me.
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Luke, handing a balloon to Sadie: I have no soul. Have a good day!
Sadie, walking off: I don't have one either.
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Drew, about Zander: They're speaking some kind of French.
Liam: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.
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Jake: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.
Zander: But you do know better.
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Zander: I feel no emotion.
Luke: you cried watching Bambi.
Hailey: and the lion king.
Seán: and moana.
Zander: okay how about we all shut up.
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Jake: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Luke: We're chopsticks!
Jake: Well... that's cute!
Jake: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Luke: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
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*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting*
Zander: *walks in and sits on Luke's lap*
The Squad: ...
Hailey: Why are you sitting there?
Zander: There's no free seats!
Seán: But we made sure there was enough room for-
Luke: *hugs Zander tightly* There are no free seats.
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Zander: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.
Zander: That's why I own TEN guns.
Zander: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.
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Drew: I find it very unseemly of Zoey to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?
Jake: Die. Let's find out.
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Luke: How do I tell Zander that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?
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Jake: what's a queen with out her king?
Zander: well, historically, better.
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Milly: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.
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*Hailey is crying after a breakup*
Milly: There there, Hailey.
Hailey, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?
Milly: Great question—
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Zander, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.
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Zander: I'm here for the cult stuff.
Sadie: How did you find us?
Zander: I saw your ad on craigslist.
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Hailey: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Zander?
Zander: No.
Luke: I do!
Hailey: I know, Luke.
Luke: I'm sad.
Hailey: I know, Luke.
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Zander: Good. Thanks, dad.
Luke: You just called Micheal "dad". You just said "thanks, dad."
Zander: What? No, I didn't. I said "thanks, man".
Micheal: Do you see me as a father figure, Alexander?
Zander: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure 'cause you're always bothering me.
Shannon: Hey! Show your father some respect!
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Jake: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!
Zander: That doesn't exist.
Jake: Not with that attitude.
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Elliot, acting tough: You guys don't want to mess with me.
Milly: Yeah, Elliot will straight up cry in public. Don't try them.
Elliot: Exactly, I will straight up-
Elliot:
Elliot, tearing up: Milly, why would you say that?!
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Milly: Am I right, Zander?
Zander: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.
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Hailey: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.
Hailey, gesturing to Zander and Jake fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!
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Zander: Can I ask you for a favor?
Luke: I would literally die for you, but continue.
Zander: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.
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*Drew is laying on the floor with their eyes closed*
Jake: Hey, are they sleeping or dead?
Zander: Hopefully dead, I hated them.
Jake: Yeah, me too.
Drew, sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.
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Milly: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!
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Jake: We're all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team.
Zander: Sounds fake but ok.
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✮ Tmf incorrect quotes ✮
RandomI used a incorrect quotes generator and incorrect quotes I found on Pinterest. There is swearing, and mentions triggering words
