~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zander: Yeah I'm LGBT.
Zander: cuLt leader.
Zander: God hates me personally.
Zander: cowBoy hat.
Zander: *sniffles* Trying my best.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Milly, to Elliot: We had a date!
Milly: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Henry: Two bros!
Liam: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Henry and Liam, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zander: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liam: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?
Henry: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*
Liam: Aww, it's a love note for lia?
Henry: No-
Liam: *opens it*
Liam:
Henry:
Liam: I can't read this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Milly: H-how do you ask someone out?
Jake: Well, first-
Hailey: Don't ask them, they asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.
Milly: ...And you said yes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zoey, staring upwards: So, Drew broke up with me... haha...
Maria: Why are you looking up?
Zoey: I need to cry, but my foundation was 48 dollars!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liam: I'm in love with you.
Henry: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dude.
Liam: I know.
Henry: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jake, throwing their head into Hailey's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Hailey, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zander: So you like cats?
Luke: Yeah.
Zander: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Henry: Are we fighting or flirting?
Drew: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Henry: Your point?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drew: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Jake: AS ENEMIES?!
Drew:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Zander: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jake: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?
Seán: Aww-
Jake: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jake: I think we should kiss.
Zander: And I think you should die but we don't always get what we want.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drew: Listen, we're done, we're over! Okay?
Zoey: Whatever bitch, you ain't never gonna find no one like me.
Drew: Yeah, that's the point shithead!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liam: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Henry: Are pigeons drones?
Liam: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.
Henry: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!
Liam: *Crying* Please let me sleep...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Hailey: Okay, but what is updog?
Jake: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Milly: No, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Zander: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Seán: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Zander: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Milly: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Jake: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Hailey: What's a henway??
Zander: Oh, about five pounds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zander: Y'know, maybe things aren't so bad. I'm here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.
Jake: Hey, Zander.
Zander: GODDAMNIT!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke, grinning: I have a knife!
Hailey: Put it down, Luke.
Luke: Make me! *sprints away*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zander: When I first met you, I did not like you.
Jake: I'm aware of that.
Zander: But then you and I had some time together.
Jake: Uh-huh?
Zander: It did not get better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daisy, confused and exasperated: Stacy, how do you plan on telling a bear to go vegan?
Stacy: Politely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Milly: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?
Luke: I feel like we've all done that at least once.
Jake: I ate it too-
Luke: See?
Jake: -On purpose...
Milly & Luke: ...What?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Store Worker: Would a "Hailey Austin" please come to the front desk?
Hailey, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker, pointing to Jake and Milly: I believe they belong to you?
Jake and Milly, simultaneously: We got lost.
Hailey: I didn't even bring you guys here with me—
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke: roadwork ahead, ah yeah I sure hope it does.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU ARE READING
✮ Tmf incorrect quotes ✮
RandomI used a incorrect quotes generator and incorrect quotes I found on Pinterest. There is swearing, and mentions triggering words
