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Jake: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
Hailey: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.
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*Jake is telling a story*
Hailey: Wow, Jake, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!
Luke: Romance?
Hailey: I have a crush on them.
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Maria: drew doesn't deserve you.
Maria: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone.
Zoey: I'm gone.
Maria: Now go chop their dick off.
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Jake, at Hailey: You're my significant other.
Hailey: Yeah I am!
Jake, at Milly: You're my child.
Milly: Yes boss.
Jake, at Drew: You're my bitch.
Drew: Yeah I am- wait, what?
Jake, at Seán: My bestie.
Seán: Naturally.
Jake, Zander: HA, GAY!
Zander: Fuck you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zander: Thank you all for coming.
Luke, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here.
Zander: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Jake Task Force".
Drew: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.
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Milly: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful...
Zander: I just wanna fucking marry Luke!!
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Jake: This date is boring!
Hailey: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Jake: Then why did you invite me?
Hailey: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Hailey a I'll do whatever I want!
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Jake: Why don't you go talk to them?
Milly, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure.
Jake: What? So you go tell them they're cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Milly: They could hear me.
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Liam: Bro, I had a dream we fucked.
Henry: Bro, relax it was just a dream.
Liam: Huh, gay, I wouldn't fuck you.
Henry: You wouldn't?
Liam: I mean, unless you want to-
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*playing twister*
Milly: Right hand red.
Luke: *ends up on top of Zander*
Zander: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Milly: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.
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Drew: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call?
Henry: No. No, Drew, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Drew calls Zoey. Number five: Liam gets eaten by a shark.
Liam: I'm Liam, and I approve the order of that list.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zander: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.
Stacy: purple isn't your color.
Zander: Purple brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Stacy*
YOU ARE READING
✮ Tmf incorrect quotes ✮
RandomI used a incorrect quotes generator and incorrect quotes I found on Pinterest. There is swearing, and mentions triggering words
